Not impressed

Today I am having a monumentally unimpresed day. this is for the following reasons:

1)   I have damaged the ligaments in my ankle. This is not only painful but has left me with the most ridiculous comedy limp a la John Cleese in Monty Python's Ministry of Silly Walks. It is not dignified, it is not impressive and when I went to visit my parents my dad laughed at me. Some people have no compassion. I hope he gets a nasty bout of Farmer Giles.


2) There's a fly buzzing round my office and I can't catch it. The irritating buzz is beginning to make me twitch but the thing moves at the speed of light. This is my second insect based trauma of the day after coming face to face with a spider the size of a tomcat in the hallway this morning. I had to summon Micah from upstairs to deal with it. He was most pleased to be woken up by shrieking and incomprehensible jibbering combined with pointed fingers and the occasional yell of  'spider!'. When faced with large spiders I do in fact turn into a lunatic with no real grasp of any language at all.


3) Micah suggested the other week that as his brother and sister in law are in Edinburgh because their baby sone has been sent there for an operation we should go up and see them because it's only 4 hours from us rather than the 8 hours to their home. We could have a lovely night away, see the baby and his parents and spend some time together (possibly because I keep moaning that I never see him thanks to his work). Lovely, I thought, a nice romantic night away in Edinburgh. How much of a hopeful pillock am I? Too hopeful it would seem because he has invited HIS MOTHER and her husband to come down from Inverness so we can all spend a lovely family time together. Fucked off doesn't even start to cover it. Doesn't come close. We won't get a single minute alone together because his mum will insist that we spend every minute with him. He'll spend the whole time faffing round her and she'll sit there like the queen bee lapping it up while I get more and more annoyed. And if she starts trying to hold his hand while we walk round the town (like she did last time we walked round Inverness) I'm taking my car and I'm going home. So much for our romantic night away. If being an insensitive eejit was an olympic sport then my husband would be winning gold every single time.

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