Spiders

What in the name of hairy hell is going on at the moment? Everywhere I go there's spiders and I'm not just talking about the little ones that you catch using a glass and a piece of card, I'm talking about the man-eating monstrous furry ones that you would have to catch with one of those wire collars on a stick that the dog warden uses to catch angry rottweilers. That's if you were stupid enough to attempt to catch the spider which I never would be, no, I know that the safest way to deal with a large spider is to screech until someone else comes along and sorts it out. Not daft me. I went to the loo last night to find a monstrous beast spider clinging to the cistern like satan's multi-legged familiar. Last thing you need at 4am is a face to face confrontation with with a giant hairy arachnid and I don't think Micah was too chuffed to be dragged from his pit to make it's acquaintence either. What the hell kind of advice is "Go for a pee in the downstairs loo" anyway? As if I was ever going to agree to leaving it there, I know perfectly well that had the spider not been dealt with I would have woken up to find it on the pillow next to me, staring me in the eye because as we all know deep down, spiders are evil and always target those who are afraid of them.

 

Also, that guff that people used to tell me about "it is more scared of you than you are of it" is crap. After all, the spider isn't jumping up and down and shrieking like a badly scalded cat. I am.

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