10 Things

"What are 10 things you've done that other people probably haven't? 
Submitted by Janette

1. Ended up in hospital overnight with concussion because I cut my finger down to the bone, took one look at it and promptly fainted. Which would have been fine had I not cracked my head on the concrete kitchen floor as I landed on the deck. While in hospital I threw up down a nurse which resulted in a head x-ray and an overnight stay for concussion.

2. Knocked my mum and dad's front wall into their front garden using the wing of their car.

3. Had to be rescued from the floor of a locked cubicle in the gents toilet of a club in Lancaster (where I had passed out) by a bouncer. It would seem that 3 bottles of red wine was beyond my drinking capacity.

4. Been the 'index case' for Crohns Disease in our family. Lucky me eh?

5. Been a guinea pig for a number of different trials of stuff connected with said Crohns Disease, including a treatment for mouth ulcers that was very effective but felt like someone had glued a wet sponge to the inside of your mouth. I don't think it was ever released for sale.

6. Got offered a job as a 'chalet manager' (aka glorified cook and skivvy) for a major holiday company. I was going to do a season in the French Alps but I didn't take it up in the end.

7. Helped to creosote someone else's stable block.

8. Met a man who apparently used to kill people for a living. He ran the protection for the city centre bar I worked in in Manchester and when I went in for my birthday once he insisted on a lock in. He wouldn't let any of us leave until 6am at which point we had drunk over £700 of booze which had to go through the books as 'spillage (because he didn't pay for drinks) and I had gone temporarily blind.

9. Broken into a private pool in Portugal with my best mate and some posh people we'd met in order to go swimming in our underwear.

10. Cooked 3 meals a day for 30 people, 5-7 days a week for a year. I was the cook for the nursing home that my parents own for a year after I finished university. Until my dad said he'd fire me if I didn't go and get myself a proper job.

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