There’s one born every minute.

While trundling through the BBC News website in an attempt to avoid tackling my intray I stumbled across this Gambling Muppet and his genius idea to sue the bookmaker William Hill. It's not April 1st so I assume this isn't a joke post by a BBC journo with a sense of humour, it must be real, it was mentioned on the radio as well. It'll probably be on the TV news as well because frankly, no one in this country can quite believe that the dozy fucking idiot is attempting to blame a bookmaker for the fact that his eyes are bigger than his wallet. If this case is successful I will be doing the following:

  • Enquiring of various embassies whether the judiciary in their country is run by morons, lunatics or badly trained howler monkeys and applying for residency in whichever one is the first to come back to me with a 'no' for all three.
  • Going to the nearest 'no win no fee' lawyer (or 'ambulance chaser' as they are affectionately known) and putting forward my idea to sue Ford because they didn't inform me that I would have to repeatedly fill the car they sold me with fuel to make it go. Well I shouldn't be expected to know that should I? Not if some pea-brained dog trainer from Newcastle isn't expected to know that if he spends £2 million quid betting but doesn't earn £2 million quid he's going to end up broke?

I mean really, what in the wide world of sport is going on here? Will bookmakers be expected to do a full psychological profile of every punter prior to opening an account and only allow them to bet on things that will definately happen? Will I be expected to spend an hour doing a psychometric test before I can put my annual £2 on the National? Or should the stupid pillock get his sorry little arse down to Gamblers Anonymous and shut up? I know which one my vote goes to. Added to which, if you award a gambling addict £2 million what is he going to do? Invest it in the stockmarket? Donate it to Save the Children? Do up his house? No, he's going to whack the lot on "Three Legged Donkey" in the 2.45pm at Haymarket and end up having to borrow the bus fare home. What on earth is this country coming to? 

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