The Shower Weasel.

For weeks my bath has been draining more and more slowly. I realised it wasn't quite normal for a bath to take 50 minutes to empty but the last straw came yesterday when I spent a pleasant 20 minutes in the shower standing calf deep in cloudy water topped with hair-dye coloured soap scum. It was not nice, especially when the used shower water became luke warm so I decided that hey, I am a girl of the new millenium, I will take the bath and plumbing apart myself and see what the problem is. I don't need to wait for my other half or indeed anyone with half an ounce of plumbing knowledge, I can sort this myself. After all, I knew a plumber once, his family only had one functioning brain cell between them and that belonged to the dog so how hard could it be?

I armed myself with a box of tools and sat back to decide what to do next. Clearly the first step was to remove the bath panel so I tried to lever it off with a screwdriver. This wasn't entirely successful so I went to get a knife from downstairs. After 5 minutes of levering with a fruit knife the panel was bending…it was coming…nearly there… little bit further….then ping! The sodding thing shot out of the bracket smacking me sharply in the nose and knocking me over backwards into the dog who was nervously observing the proceedings. Still, if you ignored the small cut across the bridge of my nose and the fact that in a couple of days when the bruising comes out people are going to be speculating as to whether I get smacked about at home, I had a successful result.

Mercifully, removing the round tightening-and-attaching-the-pipes-white-thingies (technical term) and lifting out the u-bend was much easier and so I crawled under the bath to see what the problem was. I stuck my hand into the pipe and could feel a soggy mass. It wasn't especially pleasant, even through a pair of rubber gloves but I am nothing if not persistant so I got a good grip and pulled. Out shot what looked like a soggy dead weasel covered in shampoo scum. Why, I thought to myself, has someone taken the time and trouble to insert a small dead weasel into my plughole? Have i been targeted by weirdos? Was the man we bought the house from some sort of weasel-torturing pervert? What was going on?



On closer inspection, it turned out that the weasel was not in fact a weasel at all. It was actually a weasel sized/ shaped massive ball of hair. I was not only appalled but also astounded and I have now been left with a question that I can't answer ……

If I'd lost that amount of hair in the time we've lived in that house then surely I would be as bald as an egg? I would have the smoothest, shiniest dome in christendom. So does this mean while I'm at work some evil genius is breaking into my house with a troupe of long haired women and is spending his day shaving their heads in my shower? Or do I just have far more hair than I suspected?

It's one of life's little mysteries.

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7 Responses

  1. Very funny! The weasel looks a little bit shocked at being named as a suspect, don't you think?

  2. He does doesn't he? I went for the most shocked looking weasel I could find!

  3. LOL. Maybe it is long heaired weasels using your shower when you are absent! I suggest not looking too closely at your hair line for awhile.

  4. I love this. Critters are invading baths drains even here in the US. The dead critter we found in our drain must have been a skunk, though. It was mostly black fur and a bit of gray! ; )

  5. I'm in awe – you actually went in there and stuck your hand in and tried to fix it. I'm chicken, I just buy one of those power unblocker thingyjiggy's from the supermarket, empty the whole lot down the drain and pray for the best ;))

  6. I did try the power unblocker thingy, Unfortunately I didn't read the instructions and so didn't block the overflow hole. The resulting foam explosion coated half the bathroom in evil smelling caustic gunk, almost blinded me and sent the dog into shock. I decided it was probably best not to attempt that again so went for the safer option of dismantling the plumbing.

  7. Now that I've stopped laughing so hard…. I'm so glad there's another intelligent, sane female in the world, that would do the same questionable things as me, with the obvious unintended consequences… 😀

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