Weirdo of the Week

I'm thinking of making this a weekly thing and ripping apart one particular individual for something stupid each Friday, mainly as I'm usually grumpy by Friday lunchtime because the day is dragging. So, the recipient of my very first "Weirdo of the Week" award goes to………

 

 

The charming Robert Mugabe

For his speech on the entertainingly named 'Independence Day' in Zimbabwe. Now to be fair to Mr Mugabe, he doesn't reserve being a mental case just for Fridays, no, Robbie is a prize winning nutjob every day of the week but today's public offerings from the man who managed to create a poverty stricken hellpit where once there was prosperity are particularly special. A few of the highlights included:

"Down with the British. Down with thieves who want to steal our country," Why in the wide world of sport would the British want to steal Zimbabwe? It's worth less than my first car which was a 12 year old Nissan Micra. Its interest rates are roughly 100000% and you have to pay for a packet of cigs using a wheelbarrow full of cash. We've got our own crime ridden shit pit where most people can't afford a decent standard of living. Why on earth would we want his?

 

"nation finally shook off the chains of British racist settler colonialism". Ah, so the last white farmer who had a clue how to actually farm the land he had has left then has he? While I do agree that as a nation we Brits did have a rather unfortunate habit of colonising places and taking all the good bits I can't say that I think Rob's policy of shooting the white farmers then awarding their fertile farmland to his drinking buddies has been an entirely successful one. Being able to kiss the president's behind while downing a pint and a poteen chaser does not neccessarily qualify you to run a large scale arable farm.  

 

"We, not the British, established democracy, based on one person, one vote." Yeeeess, slightly questionable this one. There was no central voting system in place when Britain colonised the area and while I don't dispute that Zimbabwe has now had an election using the 'one person, one vote' system, it's democratic credentials have been slightly marred by Mr Mugabe's cronies hiding the results and refusing to let anyone else see them. I realise it's their first election but if they'd read the 'how to hold a democratic election' handbook right the way to the end they'd have discovered that you are supposed to release the result and then the person with the most votes gets to be in charge. I'm getting the message that Mr M isn't a massive fan of the British.

 

Mr Mugabe called on Zimbabweans "to maintain utmost vigilance in the face of vicious British machinations and the machinations of our other detractors, who are allies of Britain".

"Whereas yesterday they relied on brute force to subjugate our people and plunder our resources, today they have perfected their tactics to more subtle forms," he warned.

"They throw money as a weapon, literally buying some of our people to turn against their government, accept being politically manipulated, and abandon their rights. Oh dear, looks like the Americans might be off his christmas card list as well. I think Robbie is just jealous, Britain has apparently moved on to 'more subtle forms' of subjugation whereas he's still stuck in the old days of 'brute force' and he's got a nasty case of the green eyed monster. And talking of plundering resources, have you seen his house?

 

Not exactly a mid terrace in Oldham is it Rob? Even our politicians don't live in houses like this. As for Britain buying people and encouraging them to abandon their rights, I didn't think that they actually had rights to abandon. Apart from the right to stand up against Robert Mugabe and receive a double shot to the back of the head over breakfast, obviously.

So there we have it, the winner of Weirdo of the Week, by virtue of his rabid dislike of the British, his bizarre belief that we are still living in Victorian colonial times, his complete inability to recognise hypocrisy and the fact that he lives in a house the size of Basildon is Mr Robert Mugabe. Stand up and take a bow sir!

 

 

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3 Responses

  1. Bravo – well said

  2. Love it! And a well deserved award, Mr. Mugabe. I hope it's his last.Great post, Vicola! 😀

  3. Been meaning to post about how spot on I thought this was!!

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