Proving that top footballers are often not very clever…..

While having my morning toast and reading the news on the internet I found this about top international footballer Ronaldo. 


It amused me for several reasons. Firstly because one of the cross dressing hookers he picked up was this character:


Now I don't know about you but if I was a top flight international footballer earning a six figure salary per week and I was wanting to spend some of my not-so-hard-earned cash on a bonk I'd be looking for something a little classier and more attractive than this. Nothing says 'bloke' like a big pair of hands and that's what this chap is sporting. If Mr Ronaldo had just dropped his girlfriend off then I presume he wasn't pissed and if he wasn't pissed then there's no excuse for missing the fact that 'Andre' looks like what he is – a man in a dress.


The other thing that tickled me was this:

The three-time Fifa world footballer of the year is in Brazil recovering from knee surgery.

He told police he was having some psychological problems linked to his injury.

 Since when was knee surgery linked to hiring three burly blokes in dresses for a shag? If that piss poor excuse is the best he can do he'd be better keeping his trap shut until someone else takes the heat off him by doing something spectacularly stupid.

My but the folks on the terraces are going to have some fun with this one. I hope he's thick skinned because I guarantee that by the time he next plays a game the opposition fans are going to have at least 15 different rhymes about cross dressing prostitutes to sing at him. And I hope he's better at grovelling than he is at making excuses because otherwise he's going to be single before the week is out.

What a complete and utter pillock.


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7 Responses

  1. he must have been vey drunk for they so obviously looked like men!

  2. Hehe pillock is the word. Maybe he actually was after a big pair of hands because of some goal keeper fantasy….I'm just saying 😉

  3. The big hands might be a fantasy but I'm guessing from the article that the other 'big pair' he discovered wasn't part of his plan.

  4. The man is such a moron. He's going to be taken apart when he gets back on the pitch.
    I too loved the excuse of the knee injury somehow causing him mental anguish, inducing an aberration that led him to picking up three tranny hookers! Genius. Do you think someone is paid professionally for coming up with explanations for celebrities' bizarre behaviour?

  5. If there is a little person who gets paid for making up the excuses then Ronaldo should be asking for his money back. He didn't even go with the obvious "the pain medication reacted with my body causing me to go temporarily insane" excuse, which would have been far more plausible.
    He really is going to get ripped to bits by opposition fans isn't he? That's if there's anything left to maul once his girlfriend has finished taking her embarrassment out on him.

  6. So is Manchester United actually in Manchester? I saw that they won something or other. I don't understand soccer at all as far as which leagues are what, how teams play each other, how players move about and seem to take the field for more than one squad at a time. Who does Beckham play for? Soccer was my favorite sport when I was a kid but it's not too big over here after about age 10 so I stopped playing and paying attention. From what I've seen of the fans however they don't need an excuse like tranny hookers to go completely berserk and abuse an opponent.

  7. Manchester Utd is actually in Manchester however most of their fans have never been a yard near Manchester. The fact that they have fans all over the world is the reason why they can afford to pay the price of a new hospital for yet another primadonna with 2 functioning brain cells, an Aston Martin and an ambition to marry a page 3 glamour model. Beckham plays for LA Galaxy. He transferred there for some obscene amount of money and has been off the field injured ever since. Any player can play for their team, can be 'loaned' to another team for various reasons and can play for their national team. The fans of many of the premiership teams, in particular West Ham, Chelsea and Liverpool are mental. Seriously mental. If you ever watch a film called 'Green Street' or 'The Firm' do bear in mind that this does in fact go on. As to why so many people slavishly follow football and become completely engrossed in it – beats me. I'd rather spend an afternoon picking fleas off the dog.

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