People I wouldn’t break bread with.

I've pinched this idea from Flamingodancer who has a great list up of people she wouldn't want to be sat across the table from. I thought it was most interesting and it got me to thinking who I wouldn't want to chat to across the olives and garlic bread.

GERI HALLIWELL – This woman has irritated me for years and not for any discernable reason. If I had her over to dinner the chances are that I'd end up poking her in the eye with a kebab stick so I'd better not invite her.

PARIS HILTON – If you look up the the definition of 'pointless celeb' you will find an A4, full colour pic of Ms Hilton. She is the very essence of everything I loathe about celebrities and she is famous for doing precisely sod all. The amount of good she could do with her money is limitless but instead she spends it all on tasteless designer tat and pedigree rats on strings. She isn't worth the space she takes up on this planet.

TONY BLAIR – Smug, grinning, arrogant twat who thought that the entire electorate were completely stupid and would fall for his crap. This is patently untrue as only 75% of the electorate are completely stupid with the other 25% ranging from 'slightly dim' to 'I've marked your card you bastard'.

GORDON BROWN – Eventually he will realise that the middle classes do have a limit. Possibly not before I have to sell my car and have my house repossessed.

KEN LIVINGSTONE – I wouldn't buy a used car from this shifty tosspot and his crusade against the motorist in London makes me wonder if he has some sort of obsessive compulsive thing going on.

SEBASTIAN COE – He didn't annoy me when he was an athlete because there's nothing especially irritating about a bloke who runs from A to B quite fast. However now he has taken on the mantle of "Britain's Smuggest Wanker" I'd like to kick him in the conkers until he cried. His patronising and condescending remarks about Manchester and it's ability to successfully host the Commonwealth Games or the Olympics were mind-shakingly annoying to those of us who live there when he made them however the fact that he put his name forward as a figurehead for the London Olympics and it's turning into a giant, double-deluxe cock up, running 10 times over budget is making those of North of the Watford Gap smile gently into our cup of tea. Karma can be a wonderful thing.

ROBBIE WILLIAMS – For Christ's sake stop whining about how awful your life is and pull yourself together. You want to try living on a council estate on the minimum wage before boring us all rigid with a another crappy interview bleating about how hard your existence is.

JOSS STONE – There's so much to go on here but I'll limit myself to this: Joss, when it comes to prints on fabrics, less is more, remember that. No one is going to feel sympathy for you or like you if you go on national radio sporting a faux-yank accent whining about how tough it is to be as rich as you. Also, you are on stage in London in winter, you are not on the beach in Goa, put some bloody shoes on.


Oooh that was most cathartic. Perhaps I'll start a regular post, "People who have wound me up this week". I could run and run with this one.


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7 Responses

  1. Seb Coe? The inveterate miler? Halliwell? Isn't she a spice. I thought people liked Tony Blair. Most informative except I don't know who the last two are. And what's wrong with a Yank accent. It's all I've got.

  2. There is absolutely nothing wrong with a Yank accent, a Yank accent is fabulous. If you're a Yank. If you are a middle class teen from Devon it's just plain pretentious. No one believes Joss is from 'the hood' so she should stop pretending, it isn't big and it isn't clever.
    I've no idea how far Se Coe ran but it wasn't far enough because the wanker is still here.
    Robbie Williams is the dark, hairy one who left Take That. Looks a bit like a goblin, whines a lot and used to take a lot of drugs. Joss Stone is a girl from Devon who was touted over here as the next big thing until she started to believe her own publicity. Now she's a PR nightmare and she's moved the US because she's not very popular over here anymore.
    Where on earth did you get the idea that everyone liked Tony Blair? Is that what he's been saying? The lying bastard. If he heads over to your side of the pond and ingratiates himself into public life bear this in mind: He is a lying, shifty git who would sell his own granny to further his own cause. His wife is amusing though, she's highly intelligent but with naff all common sense.

  3. It's probably because he seems so articulate, informed and concientious when standing next to our leader that we think to ourselves now why can't we have a person in charge who can form complete sentences and think beyond next month's earnings statement.
    He seemed to be portrayed favorably in a movie I saw about Diana. The Queen maybe. Of course with no background info I suppose I may have missed something.
    I think I remember Joss Stone now. Or was that Lily Allen. One of them was pregnant and smoking which should be grounds for sterilization. Since I've never heard their music I don't have any association. That's the good and bad thing about XM radio. I don't have to listen to anything I don't want to.As far as Paris goes, this link pretty much says it all

  4. Wow I completely agree with all of those….and I admire your restraint when talking about them all.

  5. [esto es genial]

  6. She probably wouldn't get into the house anyway, her massive ego won't fit through the door. She's currently appearing in a Cadburys Flake advert. I am boycotting Flakes on principle now. Why on earth do cadburys think that she is going to make me want to eat their chocolate? I can only assume that their head of marketing is on drugs.

  7. I thought I'd aim for restraint. Which is why I didn't mention Kerry Katona. Now there's a woman who truly makes my toes curl……

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