Getting Older…..

I'm 28. It might not sound very old and I know that some of my lovely Vox friends are older but the thing is that it's around this age that you start noticing that things are changing as you get older, and not always for the better……


Crinkly Lines

As I was putting on mascara the other day the dog was jumping up and down trying to catch a fly that was buzzing about just above his head. It was quite an entertaining sight and it made me smile. As I was smiling I turned back to the mirror to finish what I was doing and….SHIT. I nearly had a stroke. For there, around my eyes, where once there was skin as smooth as Vin Diesel's freshly buffed head, were little crinkly smile lines. When the hell did that happen? I swear they weren't there the last time I looked but then maybe I just don't look that often. So I went out and bought a ridiculously expensive eye cream which has of course made bugger all difference to anything except my bank balance. I fear these little lines are here to stay unless I get myself botoxed and since I've never been a fan of the 'slightly startled' expression that is unlikely to happen. Crinkly lines eh? I'm ancient. I'm going to wake up next month, look in the mirror and discover that I've become the witch in 'Robin Hood Prince of Thieves'.



When I was younger people (mainly members of exceedingly tactless extended family) used to make jokes about "So, when are you going to start having babies eh??". Now they aren't joking. One person even informed me that as I was 28 and married I'd better make a decision soon, tick tock tick tock and all that. Honestly, how rude. Do I walk into their living room and ask them when they last had a screaming orgasm or whether they've had a dump this morning? No, that would be far too personal, so why is that just because I'm a married woman in my late 20s people feel it's ok to make enquiries about my reproductive plans? And the next person to ask me why I bothered to get married if I'm not planning to have babies is going to find out exactly why my wrath is feared throughout the land. Sometimes I feel like going out wearing a badge, "I've not decided not to have babies, I've just not made my mind up yet".  

The other distressing thing is if you haven't had a baby by 28, it would seem that you are an island of barreness in an ocean of fertility. In other words all your friends have got themselves sprogged up. There are now 4 of us, determindly clinging on to the old ways and keeping hold of our child free status and for us, the world of childbirth, breast feeding, weaning and potty training seems like an alien and terrifying place. It's so much easier just to have a dog, social services don't object if you leave it in the house while you go to the pub and it's easier to know what to say in a conversation about dog training. I have no idea what is the correct comment to make when someone informs me that little Johnny did his first solid poo today. What? Eh? Is that good? A friend of mine did for a while take to sending me text updates on how her babies bowels were functioning and I never did work out why.



It wasn't until someone I went to uni with made a comment the other day that I realised it's ten years since I started uni. Oh shit. Where in the hell did TEN WHOLE YEARS go? It doesn't feel like ten years, I still remember some of it (the less drunken bits) quite clearly so how can it be ten years? But it is, 1998 I started at Lancaster. Holy crap I'm turning into my grandmother, "It seems like only yesterday when I was in the WAAF" she used to say, "Don't be ridiculous, it was 50 years ago" I used to think. Scarily, I am beginning to understand where she was coming from.



This is one of the most telling ways to work out if you are getting old. Take the latest boy fashion – Those jeans that hang so far down their arse that you can see at least three quarters of their designer boxer shorts. Do you think "Wow, great boxers, he's wearing those really well" or do you think "For goodness sakes young man, pull your bloody trousers up, you look ridiculous and you can't possibly be able to walk properly with the crotch of your trousers round your knees". Anyone care to guess which category I fall into? Yep, you got it. I absolutely itch to hitch their trousers up to the proper level. And when you see girls in those leggings that are so in at the moment does anyone else think "Blimey, I remember the first time those were in, back in the 80s". I am no longer in touch with the latest fashion it would seem, which possibly isn't a bad thing as I'm far too old to wear the latest fashion without looking like an escaped lunatic or a prostitute.


It would definately seem that I'm getting older and there's nothing I can do about the fact. There's only one thing for it – I'm going to have to grow old disgracefully. If you can't beat it, you might as well enjoy it.

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9 Responses

  1. Wrinkles – Good thing about aging is that the eye sight starts to blur and when you look in the mirror everything is fuzzy so you look years younger!
    Babies – when someone asks you when you are having children. A. ask them why it matters to them. B. ask them when they are going to have one/stop having them.
    Memories – it is nice to think that you have been friends with someone for 45 years. It means that someone really gets you. It also shows that you can socialise when you put your mind to it! Do nice when required.
    Fashion – well everything old is continually new again, but with a twist. So you can't wear it again, you have to go and buy a new one. Middle age means that you don't care what level someone's pants are hanging, because you know you did it first, and better!
    The alternate to aging is death – give me aging any old year!

  2. Wrinkles – well, fortunately, my Indian genes have served me well in this respect – i will likely continue to have a fairly smooth-ish face (although i did get the short and rolly Indian build and opposed to the tall and slender build) for a few more decades yet – and then, the day i turn 70, i'll wake up and look just like my aunties!Babies – i'm 34 – i get it too – BOY, do i get it – just as well Steven's brother is getting married AND having kids at some point, or we'd be in more trouble with his mom – of course, the chances of my brother getting married are slim to none right now, so i'm still in deep with my mom, who thinks i need to have a child "so i do something meaningful with my life and quit being so selfish" – ha – we get the selfish argument from our other friends with kids and random people – one reason why i'm sort of scared of this wedding (as you visited on my blog:) – nothing like being stuck in a room of a gaggle of random nosy Indian women at a wedding when you're the only one they don't know and obviously doesn't conform to the "norms" – people (and friends) can be really smug marrieds w/children when they want to be – i've got my answer down – "We like our lives. We don't want to change a thing. We do what we want, when we want. And we like it that way." – if they can be smug and condescending, we can at least be smug and honest!Memories: yeah – getting perilously close to my 20th high school reunion – AHHH – just saying that makes me twitch!Fashion: ok, i SWEAR, when i was in school in the 80's, most girls did not dress like jail-bait – am i wrong? – and why bring back skinny pants? – again? – for a whole season, i couldn't by a proper pair of pants to save my life! – omg, the drop-pants thing! – YES – it is neither attractive nor flattering – so, it MUST be in fashion – but then again, neither were mullets or big hair – remember the pouf in front? – i don't even use hairspray any more! – i wear nice, dark jeans and black tops – always ok – and saves me from having to be fashionable, which i'm really bad at :)heh heh – i'm going to enjoy getting older:)

  3. Oh for flip sake. I thought you were older than me! Grrrr. Not that you look it or anything but I just generally still assume that people who are grown up are older than me. That's another thing about being the age we are (ok, I know you are 2 years younger but we'll let that slide). Grown ups begin getting younger than you. My son is 10 in just over a week. I dread to think how long ago it was I left school! I'm ok on the wrinkle front but white hairs are sprouting up in a scarily speedy fashion. Last time I left my hair without dying it they weren't this prolific and that was only last year.

  4. Fortunately I've not noticed any grey or white hairs yet but there is every chance that this is because I've been dyeing it since I was 14. Lord knows what its natural colour is. I know what you mean about grown ups being younger than you are, I went to locum GP the other week who I swear wasn't as old as I am. My godson was ten a couple of weeks back, that was a shock to the system as well, especially since I distinctly remember playing with his mum at his age and marvelling at how ridiculously old our parents were.

  5. Wrinkles- I like to call them my wings, my eyes have grown wings with all of the joy I have experienced in life. All I ask of my wrinkles is to be the happy ones, the laugh lines can take over as I get older, I just don't want sad cranky wrinkles.Babies- A lot of my friends are still having kids (I am 35) You have plenty of time. my personal cut off date is 40. But this year we still do not want kids so husband got fixed. If we want a child we will adopt.Fashion- Those pants began their popularity here in the early 90's. I was graduating high school and thought how ridiculous they were then. I do not think this is an older perspective, it just makes people look like a jackass. My dad (when he worked at a grocery store) loved this fashion because when they would shoplift they were really easy to catch.

  6. By your standards I've been old since I was 21, haha.

  7. I'm with you sista. Only thing, I'm looking 40 in the face year, and believe me, it is not a happy prospect. I was good with 30 and had a generally fabulous time. I'm fighting a losing battle with wrinkles.You've got pe-lenty of time for babies (I didn't get cracking til I was 35) but you're right – people do seem to think they have a right to be able to ask you about something that is that personal! Chin up young bird!

  8. [esto es genial]

  9. Well… I am 33 and let me tell you, the thing that bothers me is all of the grey hair! Where did these come from? It seems like just overnight I have more grey than brown! I bought some dye and I was ready to cover it and then I had several people tell me "you should dye your hair". In my stubborness I have put it off. I know that's crazy. I don't like being told what to do. It's my hair. It's my grey hair. If I want to keep it, that's my business! If you don't like it… don't look at it!

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