Tuesday Stuff

The last Tuesday before my holiday in Portugal – this time next Tuesday I'll be spray-tanned a charming shade of mid-orange and I'll be sitting by the pool drinking fruity cocktails and contemplating how marvellous it is that I don't have to be up at 6.40am for work in the morning. In the meantime, here are my Tuesday thoughts:

Sinking my Dinghy:

  • Wine limits. Why must we have them? This country is run by fuckwits who don't believe they are earning their salaries unless they are telling us that what we do is unhealthy. Now they've finished persuading us that smokers are akin to paedophiles in the 'bad stuff' lists, they've started on booze. I'm sat in front of the telly, having a relaxing glass of shiraz cabernet and what do I get? Some stupid public health advert telling me that because I'm middle class and like a glass of wine in an evening my liver is going to implode and I'm going to die. Well they can just piss off because I'm going to die at some point anyway and I'd rather go out in a blaze of drunken glory than nibbling on a celery stick. Besides, I've worked with 90 year olds and there's no way I want to live to be that old.
  • I have a cold. Not really much to say about it other than that Kleenex balsam tissues are a truly fabulous invention.
  • Everything in this country is SO expensive. Everything. It's mental.


Floating my boat

  • I go on holiday in 3 and a bit days, yay!!
  • I've almost finished ripping all my CDs to my mp3 meaning I won't have to lug half a ton of CDs to Portugal because I couldn't decide which to leave behind.
  • It's sunny outside and I've had a day off work. All is right with the world.
  • I am currently accessorising my outfit with a glass of chilled chablis. Bollocks to the health nazis, bums up folks, cheers!!

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5 Responses

  1. You lucky thing – escaping the crappy weather we're having!!!

  2. Happy holiday! Take some hang over cure with you!

  3. Wine Limits? WTF?Most evidence indicates that there are few healthier habits then the quotidian ritual of nightly imbibement in the dark grape. Or so the pompous pundits have said. What kind of b grade wankers are in charge over there anyway?

  4. The wankers on charge here are top quality, grade A wankers. The very wankiest kind. And they are intent on letting the middle classes know that if you have a glass of wine in an evening then before you know it you'll find yourself underneath a railway bridge fighting a tramp for his sheet of cardboard to sleep under, suffering from acute liver failure and disowned by your family as a booze sodden lush. Which is amusing if you actually look up the figures for the amount of taxpayer's money spent on alcohol for all the Westminster functions in a year.

  5. Cheers! I've got the Panadol packed and ready.

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