Almost speechless. But not quite.

It's not often that I am rendered almost speechless by the mendacious bullshit that flows daily and inexorably from the doors of Westminster but today I was directed to an article by the most entertaining Devil's Kitchen. The hatchet-faced, horn-toed witch that you see above is none other that our esteemed Home Secretary, Jacqui Smith (for anyone who has been fortunate enough to miss her existence so far) and on Friday she took Labour's record for just making stuff up to a whole new level.

So, "what did the fragrant Ms Smith do that has got you so rattled?" I hear you ask. Well I'll tell you, On Friday Ms Smith announced although national ID cards are due to be rolled out in 2012, people are going to be able to pre-register for them because "I believe there is a demand, now, for cards – and as I go round the country I regularly have people coming up to me and saying they don't want to wait that long. I now want to put that to the test and find a way to allow those people who want a card sooner to be able to pre-register their interest as early as the first few months of next year."

Does she think we in this country are entirely fucking stupid? I think you'll find that the answer to this is a resounding 'yes'. The scheme is so bloody unpopular that the other 2 main parties in this country have announced they would scrap it altogether and the rumour is that the government have had to write clauses into the contracts awarded for the scheme that mean that should it all be dropped there wouldn't be punitive penalties to be paid. The fact is that the vast majority of people don't believe the scheme would work.

Those who support ID cards (all 6 of them plus the politicians who lift their policies wholesale form Orwell's '1984') argue that they will not be forgeable because they will use iris data that can't be forged. I say that's a shit argument. Does anyone know what the market value of an iris scanning device is? I don't but given that a plasma screen telly can cost you a few grand I'm willing to bet that they aren't cheap. So will your local benefits office have one? Nope. Will your bank have one? Nope. So as long as you can clone a genuine card and attach a different photo to it you'll still be able to claim benefits fradulently. So who will have the scanning devices? Police stations and airports. Fair enough but since the people who blew up London were British and the people who attempted to blow up Glasgow were in the country legally then an ID card wouldn't have prevented either of these events so I think it would be fair to say that the bastard things won't stop terrorism, at least it won't as long as people who live in this country continue to want to blow it up. Unless terrorists write 'Suicidal Jihadist Warrior' in the 'occupation' box on the form then they aren't going to get picked up via ID cards. And I'm not convinced that we have yet bred a terrorist stupid enough to do that.

So what is the point of ID cards? Your guess is as good as mine, it appears to be just another exercise in futile control-freakery from a desperate government that are gradually ramping up the measures until they are allowed to put a microchip in all our heads so that we can be traced, tracked and monitored wherever we go. The latest crackpot idea is that in order to get everybody registered for the ID cards, supermarkets will awarded contracts and will be taking details and fingerprints when you go to get your groceries so that everyone is processed in good time. No, you didn't just read that wrong. I would rather live off what I can scavenge from bins than allow a fucking supermarket to fingerprint me in return for allowing me the priviledge of spending money in their establishment.

ID cards are a horribly unpopular idea and for Ms Smith to announce that they are so popular that she will allow people to get one early because they can't wait is a blatant, obvious and frankly embarrassing attempt to save face from a Home Secretary who is on her arse politically. The public are gradually waking up to the measures the government are taking to try and control us and they aren't happy about it, especially since a number of the horrific measures have got little codicils added in that mean that they don't apply to MPs. So Jacqui, you keep telling yourself that people love your ID scheme, you've obviously got yourself fooled but don't for one nanosecond think that if you say it often enough WE will believe you. We aren't actually as fucking braindead as you think and come election time I sincerely hope we prove it.

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14 Responses

  1. [esto es genial]

  2. I regularly have people coming up to me and saying they don't want to wait that long.LOL – perhaps these "people" were being sarcastic/facetious …….. You can see how well the SS Number has worked here in the US.

  3. previous PM wanted to introduce the "Australia Card" and we said no, no, no!

  4. I am loving the word 'mendacious' this week. I can't decide whether the woman has more bare faced front than Blackpool Promenade or whether she's just a complete basket case.

  5. It's a truly crap idea and given that in the past couple of years the government have lost the personal data of roughly 30 million people through various means, I'm not exactly overkeen to give them my vital statistics. She's just doing what most of our current politicians do – ignoring the truth entirely and going with what they want.

  6. Well done to the Aussies! The majority of people here are also saying no, no, no but Jacqui Smith has decided to ignore them all because they aren't saying what she wants to hear. Entertaingly, fingerprint data is going to be held on these cards and the protest group 'No2ID' have managed to clone Ms Smith's fingerprints from a glass she was drinking at during a conference on the 'future importance of ID cards'.

  7. Nicely put, Vicola! It's baffling to me as a somewhat left-leaning person that they are so keen on the whole idea. I mean, really… it's something that I could seriously imagine coming from the right a few years ago (say, Thatcher) but not now and certainly not from them. Although "them" is not the same them it used to be. And I haven't yet heard (as you rightly say) of any single instance where an ID card would have prevented an act of terrorism. I have always rather suspected that terrorism is not what it's aimed at, but that was the easiest way to get it in. More likely, it's viewed as an immigration/employment/benefits tool, not a security tool. The whole idea is a non-starter.But then non-starters have flown before and somehow have been kept in the air. Baffles me. That's the bottom line.

  8. What annoys me is that firstly they seem to think that they can push through whatever they like as long as they put the words 'terrorism' or 'national security' in the title and secondly that they now believe they are so far above the electorate that they don't have to listen to their views any more. It frustrates me. The latest one they are trying to sneak in is some sort of ruling to stop the media from reporting on 'matters of national security'. And who decides what is a matter of national security? Yes, you guessed it. So much for open and transparent government.

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  11. Vicola-is that your real name?I entirely endorse everything you said.Of course they think we're stupid-that we collectively voted them in seems pretty good evidence.

  12. It isn't my real name, no. It was actually my nickname at university, I can't use my real name because if I did I could be googled and then my inlaws would discover all the things I've put online about them and I'd end up divorced. I can understand why we voted them in in 1997, a new broom was needed to sweep away the old ways. Sadly after a few months the head fell off the new broom, meaning that all it did was move the shit about, instead of sweeping it away. So then we voted in them in again, perhaps to see if 4 years wasn't enough to make the improvements. Understandable perhaps, if a little naive. But a third term? Unforgivably stupid. Clearly the old system of not letting idiots vote needs to be put back into place because the way things are done now is utterly crap. And if they get in again I'm moving to France.

  13. I have to say, Vicola, you seem to have our Home Sec, in whose constituency, I have the misfortune to dwell, nailed pretty well. In fact, I thought you were rather kind to the old trout. In a previous life, I attended an incident at her gaff; I think she'd just become an MP. I remember thinking, she's the sort of person who would give the word "unimpressive" a bad press. Fortunately, by the time the incumbent bunch of muppets had promoted her to her current state, I had become so immune to their shambolic incompetence, I was torn between wanting to end it all and wanting to live long enough to witness the bastards being ejected into the oblivion they have so richly earned. "Mendacious" is a great word, which is as naturally allied to the word, "politician," as "slimy, devious, self -serving, greedy, incompetent and fucking." Aren't adjectives wonderful? Keep up the good work; once again, you have enriched my day.

  14. Cheers! And commiserations for living in her constituency. If it's any consolation our MP is the minister for social something or other, incompetence probably, and spends so little time in his actual constituency that he'd have to have it pointed out to him on a map by a researcher to have any chance of figuring out where it is. He turns up occasionally if there's something needs opening or a photo opportunity that'll make him look like he gives a shit. Which he doesn't. And since he's been embroiled in no fewer than 2 ridiculous sex scandals in his time in office I have high hopes that the useless twat will get kicked out at the next election. But then I thought that at the last one too. I'll be disappointed beyond words if the current bunch don't get the kicking they so deserve at the next general election.

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