Utter wanker – fact.

I'm driving down the road and I'm in the middle lane but I need to be in the right hand lane. There's a space in front of a lorry so I indicate right and start to pull across. So what does he do? He leans on his horn, shoots forward as fast as he can and destroys the electric mirror on the driver side. Utter and complete wanker. Because he couldn't possibly let a car in could he? I mean if he did that then the world would stop turning, Armageddon would begin and the 4 horsemen of the apocalypse will come through his front wall and commandeer the remote control for his telly. Or, more likely, he's some cocky wanker with a power complex who thinks he's Johnny Big Spuds because he's driving a truck. Badly. And did he stop and acknowledge that he'd broken my car? No, he fucked off down the road at 60mph, nearly carving up some poor cow in a Nissan Micra who happened to be occupying the space on the road that he wanted to be in at the time he wanted to be in it. So now I'm sat here waiting for someone called Bill from to call me from their insurance company and if Bill doesn't come up with a solution that involves them paying for the replacement wing mirror and its fitting then I am going to get cataclysmically angry. I hope the truck driving tosspiece gets a proper strip torn off him by his superiors for being a wanker and that he is made to pay for my wing mirror out of his own money.

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10 Responses

  1. What a total arse! I've had someon take our electric mirror out and not stop and I just couldn't get it into my head how anyone could do something like that.
    PS Do you think the lorry drivers of the north have entered into a secret pact to piss you off at every turn?

  2. [esto es genial]

  3. I think they may have done and I tell you what, they are making a remarkable job of it. Wankers. I think it was the fact that he deliberately sped up and took off my mirror rather than let me into the traffic flow that really hacked me off, it wasn't even as though there was a queue. The big pillock.

  4. I did indeed, written in lipstick on the back of my hand. Classy eh? I rang their company ready to give them a piece of my mind but they were actually very nice and have sent me their insurance details and apologised profusely for the crapness of their driver. So hopefully they'll pay up. I really am keeping my fingers crossed as I suspect that an electric, heated wing mirror is going to be hellish expensive to replace.

  5. [esto es genial]

  6. Poor Vicola.
    Console yourself that lorry drivers' application forms contain tick – box questions such as:-
    Are you not the sharpest tool in the box?
    Do you have a small penis?
    Is masturbation, (a) a suburb, (b) a career?
    Would you describe yourself as "Not very clever, but can lift 'eavy fings?"
    Puzzled? Phone a friend, ask the audience, etc. blah.

  7. Swearing is good for you. Apparently Preston Council are spending £20k of council tax payers money on a campaign to stop people in Preston swearing. Bunch of wankers.

  8. I suspect that the idiot who broke my car would even manage to score impressively badly on a questionnaire such as this. I'm really hoping that he received a world class bollocking off his bosses. He may well do when the claim goes through, I only told them that he broke my wing mirror, I didn't tell him it was electric, heated and matched to the body colour of the car. Which puts the price up a little. What a tosspot. I'd say I hope he learned something from the experience but since I reckon he's probably too stupid to scratch his arse and walk at the same time I suspect not.

  9. hi im new to vox unlike some of the people i have met you have a great sense of humour and insight p.s. the other being ted west

  10. Ah the famous TedWest, a man who is fast becoming a vox legend! Cheers for visiting, always nice to hear from new people!

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