The first Wanker of the Week of 2009.

Last year gave us a fine and varied crop of wankers and 2009 has made a marvellous opening bat with the appearance of Dr Richard Batista.



In case you were wondering, he's the one with the moustache.

In 2001 Dr Batista donated a kidney to his wife (you'll not be surprised to learn that she's the one in the photo without the 'tache) which saved her life. This action showed all the hallmarks of a thoroughly decent bloke, willing to go through much pain and trauma to save someone else's life however in one swift blow Dr Bastista has managed to undo all that hard work and unmask himself as really, a bit of a twat.

So how has he managed this? Simple, he's in the middle of a divorce which by the looks of things is moving slower than he hoped and isn't really going his way so his new demand is this: Either give the kidney back or pay me $1.5m, which is the random value of a kidney that my lawyer and me have plucked out of the air.

He is quoted as saying "There is no deeper pain that you can ever express than betrayal from someone who you love and devoted your life to", quite an amusing statement from a man who is demanding his kidney back from his ex-missus. Perhaps in Dr Batista's world this doesn't actually count as a betrayal. The soon-to-be-ex Mrs Batista should also be narked off at the price he is charging, I'm willing to bet you can buy an illegal kidney for WAY less than $1.5m via the internet or some dodgy foreign bloke in the back of a pub somewhere. 

He also says "I feel humiliated betrayed, disrespected and disregarded as a man, as a husband, as a father". Well  mate, I'm not surprised because after this behaviour it looks like the reason she left is that not only are you a sanctimonious, self pitying whinger who has no problem making himself look an utter twat in front of the entire world but you're also as mad as a hatful of angry weasels. Seriously, get a grip man, she's dumped you, that's shit but really, demanding the kidney back that she needs to survive is not the way forwards, especially since divorce lawyers apparently don't count donated organs as a marital asset to be divided. Go out with the boys, get drunk, call her names and enroll in therapy because if you carry on along this path you're going to be found on a park bench in 8 years time, still wearing the suit you wore to court but without the shoes, whiffing of cat wee, clutching a bottle of cheap whiskey and muttering about 'that bitch and my kidney'. Have some backbone you snivelling little wretch.

Ladies and gentlemen I give you Dr Richard Batista – Dick by name, dick by nature.


Read and post comments | Send to a friend


9 Responses

  1. A dick indeed!!

  2. [esto es genial]

  3. maybe she should countersue him for caring for the kidney all this time -I can't believe they waste court time with this rubbish

  4. I was going to comment but it got a little long so I turned it into a post

  5. I'm surprised he hasn't asked for those back as well. Unless one of the reasons that she's looked elsewhere is that the amount of bodily fluid shared over the years is not a large enough amount to even bother mentioning as an asset.

  6. And money. It's a total waste of court time. The courts really shouldn't indulge the petty grievances of jilted husbands and his lawyer should have had the morals to tell him to drop it.

  7. Assuming this bloke has an intellect and at least some degree of self-awareness, you have to wonder what the rest of his brain was doing when a small part of it said, "wouldn't it be a whizzo wheeze if we asked for our kidney back? That'll show the bitch!" His lawyer shoud have said, "Richard, it's time to take a day off. You don't have to be a complete knob all your life."

  8. That's bloody divorce lawyers for you. Instead of thinking "Blimey, the poor chap has flipped and is about to make an utter arse of himself, I'd better stop him"the asshole thought "Blimey, he's flipped, I can make some serious cash from this. Nice one!". Which is truly charming.

  9. I was wondering, Vicola, if you've ever come across the website I'm not inferring anything here, by the way! If you haven't, it's worth a visit, if only for the relief at finding out there are a lot of like-minded souls out there who also rage at the indignities inflicted on us daily by the numerous knobs, cretins, self-proclaimed experts and pompous gobshites who have somehow managed to get themselves into dubious positions of authority over us. It's also extremely funny, when you're not gnashing your teeth.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: