Whining Lard-Buckets.

This collection of beauties is the Chawner family and today they have appeared in the Telegraph newpaper. Why? Because they have a combined weight of 83 stone, only one of them has a job (as a trainee hairdresser), the rest haven't worked for 11 years and now they are complaining that the £22,508 of taxpayer's hard earned moolah that they get is not enough. Apparently, despite the fact that they are also in receipt of housing benefit, council tax allowance AND incapacity benefit, what they get 'barely covers the bills and puts food on the table', according to Mr Chawner. Really sir? Well without wishing to sound unkind, it doesn't look like the table has been going without food very often in recent times does it? The wife and kids aren't exactly wasting away are they?

The family claim to spend £50 a week on food. Leaving aside the fact that if they only spend £50 a week on feeding 4 people the size of small horses per week then I'm the Virgin Mary, £50 a week adds up to £2600 a year. Taking that from their tax-free benefits of £22,508 leaves them the fine sum of £19, 908. So what the fuck are they whining about? They don't work so travel costs must be minimal, they get housing benefit, they don't pay council tax so what in the name of Satan's Underpants are they spending said £20k a year of leftover cash on?

Mr Chawner says that 'It's not our fault we can't work, we deserve more'. His reasoning for this is that he claims the reason his family are frankly appallingly obese is that they have a hereditary condition. Having read the rest of the article I take issue with that. Each member of the family consumes 3000 calories a day, the recommended MAXIMUM intake for men is 2500, for women 2000. "We have cereal for breakfast, bacon butties for lunch and microwave pies with mashed potato or chips for dinner. All that healthy food, like fruit and veg is too expensive. We're fat because it's in our genes. Our whole family is overweight". Dare I suggest, Mrs Chawner, that your family is not fat because you've got a hereditary condition, your family is fat because you're eating 30% more calories than the recommended maximum, you have a whole lot more energy going in than is going out and your diet is a fucking disgrace? If you got off your self-pitying mountain of an arse and got your backside into the fruit and veg aisle of your local supermarket you would discover that basic root veg are as cheap as they come and can be amde into nutritious, filling, low fat soups for between 50p and £1 per serving, even if you add a chicken breast for protein. I defy you madam, to come up with microwave pie and some chips for 50p to a quid per head. Why the frigging hell should I fork out more of my tax money to give this collection of whining, idle lard baskets more money so they can spend more time sat in front of Jeremy Kyle shovelling bacon sarnies into their oversized cakeholes? If I can stir myself to create proper food when I get in from walking the dog after my full day at work then I fail to see why someone who has bugger all to do and all day to do it in can't manage to prepare a decent, healthy meal at some point. And she needn't give me that "I don't know how' shite either. That's what the internet's for, looking up recipes. She's got plenty of time between the morning edition of Jeremy Kyle and the afternoon's Loose Women to print off the instructions for making a stew.  

Daughter Emma said "I'm a student and don't have time to exercise, we all want to lose weight to stop the abuse in the street but we don't know how". Give me strength. I'm a full time worker AND a fucking student doing a diploma and I find time to exercise. It just means less time in front of the telly. And unless she and the rest of her family have been living in a cave for the past 5 years then they DO know how to lose weight. Even if they were too terminally stupid to have taken in the helathy living message that is plastered over every form of media that we have in this country, they have regular trips to the doctor's for their various weight-related medical conditions, I refuse to believe that the doctor hasn't told them to lay off the lard and get off their arses. What she actually means is that losing weight is going to be fucking hard work. It's going to take dedication, a complete lifestyle overhaul and at the start it's going to be unpleasant and uncomfortable until they adapt to the new eating and exercise regime. What she means is that they can't be sodding well arsed to do anything about it so are expecting the taxpayer to fund their disgusting lifestyle because sorting it out would be too much like hard work. And that, Mr and Mrs Chawner, is why you'll never get any sympathy or agreement from me. I've got every respect for those who are that size and who decide to tackle it head on, it's a long road and it's a hard one but those who are trying need and deserve support. Those who are too pathetic to take responsibility for their own morbid obesity and expect me to fund their 3000 calories a day don't. Whatever happened to personal responsibility? When did we create this legion of whinging, pathetic losers who expect society and everyone but them to fund, deal with and solve their problems?  

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20 Responses

  1. LOL – that is hysterical – in a pathetic sort of way. I seriously doubt they would get much sympathy from readers. They should be ashamed to have their story told but I guess they don't see the problem and that is the problem.

  2. Ms. Vicola. I may be in love. We may have to marry soon.
    While reading your informative and well researched article I could not help but wonder (I have a curious nature) how we could possibly put the whole Chawner (is that truly their name? God does have a morbid sense of humour) family to some kind of use.
    At first I cursed this country's lack of salt mines, not to mention weak government that wouldn't put them there in chains…then I started thinking Soylent Green thoughts, but frankly…I became nauseous (though there may be something to be said for exporting of Soylent products to foreign governments). Compost? Landfill? I mean, what could we actually DO with these creatures? It is a question that disturbs me, for I have not reached a satisfying enough answer I fear. In any event, for the moment my best suggestion is to use them as sled-dogs. Dressed only in oversize underwear and briddle-gear, pulling sleds in the Alaskan North. I realise the carbon offset to fly them there by cargo plane, not to mention the probably rapid coronary failure and subsequent putrefaction would only add to the carbon footprint overall though, so it leaves much to be desired. I shall keep thinking on this urgent matter and let you know soonest if I come up with something better.
    Yours in hopeful lust,

  3. *applauds*A wonderful tirade. A thing of beauty, and a well-deserved addition to Google Reader as a result.D

  4. That was a tour de force.

  5. Cheers! Glad to see that bad tempered ranting about losers is still popular!

  6. I was sputtering in amazement and disgust at this family. I know when I was a student I had acres of time in which to exercise, so that's total bollocks. You don't need to join a gym to exercise – buy a pair of running shoes, some cheap sports gear and off you go!!!

  7. Exactly. There's no way on god's green earth she's at college for 16 hours a day, I simply do not believe that. It only takes 20 minutes of decent exercise a day (well the authorities say 30 but I'm sure they exaggerate) to stay healthy and I don't believe that someone studying hairdressing can't find 20 minutes a day. My friend Lou still walked her dog every day as a student nurse and she had an 8 year old and a 1 year old to look after.

  8. I loved your rant and I fully adhere to and support everything you've said. Get off your fat arses, take a walk to the supermarket and buy some veg for 50p a bag and make some soup. As Emjay says, the problem here is that the waste of natural resources that goes by the moniker of the "Chawner family" think they're the victims and are in no way responsible for their lardiness. Are we allowed to put them on a rocket and blast them into space??

  9. Even if we were, the rocket would have to be so large that they'd never get the thing airborne. This family way 84 stone between them. I'm not convinced that my dad's Jaguar estate car weighs 84 stone.

  10. Thank you for not holding back in the name of political correctness.It makes me sick to hear of the "fat gene" As a down to earth farmer friend of mine often says….."where were all the fat genes in the concentration camps of WW2?"I wish it was compulsory for every person in our pampered western countries to spend at least a year living life in a developing country with a family existing on a subsistence lifestyle. No free meals. No social security. Reality!

  11. The "lady" on the right looks like some kind of bizarre peek into the future: "Duffy: Where It All Went Wrong".We can only hope.

  12. Rather pathetic, isn't it. Yet, I know those young girls must be desperately unhappy inside those grossly obese bodies handed on to them by their idiot parents' unhealthy lifestyle. There, but for the grace of God….

  13. [isto é bom]

  14. Hey, leave them alone, buying clothes made out of that much material is going to cost. So is having to nip off too DFS every three weeks to order a new sofa due to the last one giving up the ghost due to the SWL being exceeded. I say nip, what I actually mean is lumber like some modern day human bracchyasaurs, but you get the idea.Being big is a fact of life, some people just are, some people's skeleton is just bigger, wider and more ample and no amount of dieting is going to shrink that. Think Fatima Whitbread, OrDawn French, their body shapes are dictated by their underlying frame, ok so the upholstery may be more ample on Ms. French's architecture but nonetheless if she slimmed she's never going to be Kylie.However…Ingesting the gross (pun very much intended) annual output of the Cadbury factories is going to weigh heavily on your physique. You ingest more calorific conetn than you expend it doesn't just evaporate it will be stockpiled. And when the body cannot add anymore content to you existing fat cells is will start to produce more and once they are there you cannot get rid of them, you can shrink them but cannot kill them entirely. Which is an argument not being offered to anyone, that once you get to a certain size then you will find it harder or almsot impossible to return to a smaller size.These people are an advert for everything that is wrong in this country, the poster children of modern day Britain, just add the slogan "Why Bother?" and the picture is complete.I despise them, their ethics are morally reprehensible, undefensible and incoherent. yeah some people are more prone to fat than others, that's genetics, my mate's never gonna look like a Kenyan Marathon Runner even if he lost his 'over' weight. But he accepts his lifestyle may be contributing to his problem and is trying to reduce his intake.But what makes me more annoyed thsan anything else is the "we can;t do anything about it" if you think that then you're right you probably can't do anything. If you are not willing to put the crisps down, to go for a walk and to look for a job then you have to accept the consequences. Blaming a 'gene' on your problems is abdication of responsibility as is the unwillingness to get a job or reduce your burden on society,But if society suddenly turned round and said "we aren;t responsible for you, your health, your welfare" how quickly would these locusts, for that is what they are: parasiticly eating everything in their paths, these locust would soon slim, work and exercise. Or what's the alternative, we shouldn;t give them one, or at least not such a comfortable one, get them picking up litter, collecting charity donations or delivering the post, anything to reduce their burden now and in the future when their hearts give out and we have to proivide emergency care.Again the reasonible people of the country get no consideration.Well done Vicola now I'm angry enough to have a good old rant at tonight's show! TTFN.

  15. what is wrong with these people they are a shining example of a great socialist nation .i only hope after a few years of obama we can have people like this in the u.s.

  16. Someone else rightly pointed out that the 'fat gene' seems to be entirely missing in poverty stricken regions of the third world. Possibly because they aren't living off microwave pie and chips. And fear not, I will never be held back by political correctness!!

  17. Ha! Genius…if only the article stated whether the girl on the right has a voice like a hamster with a sinus problem then we'd know for sure….

  18. Give 'em hell on the show! What really pissed me off was that rather than accepting that they've got themselves into that state and only they can get themselves out of it, they are blaming something else and expecting the taxpayer not only to fund their disgraceful lifestyle but also to find a solution. And despite the fact that the likes of us are going out to work to pay for them to have the equivalent of a £30k salary without getting off their arses, they still aren't happy, apparently it's not enough. What is wrong with these people? Apart from the obvious. I bet if you added up everything that they take from the state, benefits, council tax relief, housing benefit, cost to the NHS, mobility car etc plus the staff needed to administrate these the bill will head well into 6 figures.

  19. Shiftwork is meant to be really bad for you, we've been looking at it on my diploma course this week. My friend Cass lost quite a bit of weight when she came off shifts and her sleep patterns regulated themselves as well. I walk the dog for 45 minutes to an hour a day to keep fit. It's good for me and the dog although it's costing me a fortune in Polos for the ponies that we encounter along the route and dog biscuits for Little Yellow Dog and Beast-on-a-Rope in the farmyard that we pass. Doing exercise can be fun, not that I suppose this family would know that. What made me laugh was that he said that they could hardly put food on the table. Mate, look at you, do you think anyone is going to be convinced? Get off your arse and onto the treadmill, put down the pie and pick up the celery, it's time for change.

  20. You may still be in hiding or have lost your way in Regent's Park…either way…my last post may be of interest to you…

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