Madonna – Proving that while money can’t buy you happiness, it can buy you a child.

Sometimes I really do wonder what goes on in the heads of celebrities and nothing demonstrates the weirdness that is celeb-world more than Madonna. Some people when their marriage goes belly up buy a new car, get their hair restyled, buy a new pair of posh shoes, Madonna trumps all others by buying – another Malawian child. A girl this time, to match the boy she bought last time, after all, why buy the shoes and not the matching handbag? Leaving aside the fact that Madonna has bypassed all the usual systems for adoption and shot straight to the 'pick which pretty sprog you'd like' stage, how can she possibly think that introducing another child to the insane world of commercial madness, public scrutiny and upbringing-by-nanny that is life in her household? But then let's be honest, it's not about the child is it? It is, as usual, all about Madonna and what she wants. Let's face facts, with what she's paying in 'donations' to the Malawian authorities and whoever else she needs to grease the palm of, she could have set the child and its grandmother up in a secure home with a way to make their own living. She could have picked an actual orphan, a child with no family and no one to care for it because Malawi has an awful lot of those. She could have given stipends to dozens of families to ensure that they don't have to give up their kids to an orphanage because they can't afford to feed them. But she did none of these things, she chose instead to buy herself another little Malawian-shaped trinket. Rumours are that the little girl's grandmother doesn't want her to be adopted away but she needs to face facts, what one wizened old woman wants doesn't matter two hoots to the Malawian authorities when on the other side of the scales is Madonna with her massive wads of cash and support of a number of orphanages. The depth of Madge's concern for the wellbeing of the kids she's seen can be summed up by the fact that she went touring round the orphanage wearing £2000 of Chanel tracksuit. What could the average Malawian family do with £2000? Live for a good while, that's for sure. Perhaps she's in some sort of weird-ass competition with Angelina Jolie to see who can adopt the largest number of disadvantaged children in the shortest period of time or something. Still, we should be grateful for small mercies I suppose, while she's in Malawi deciding which child will go best with her new shoes, she isn't in the UK gyrating her scrawny self around on stage in an embarrassing leotard or S&M gear and she isn't releasing any pseudo-dance, craptastic pop shite. Every cloud and all that….

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8 Responses

  1. Well said. Our news reader made a slip of the tongue on the w/end when he announced that "Madonna is buying another country" – it cracked us up for ages!

  2. [esto es genial]

  3. p.s. This related news item just popped in to my reader. lol

  4. Well done Vicola….you've nailed another one to the cross of over-indulgence.

  5. That's hilarious! And is even funnier because you suspect there may be a grain of truth in it…

  6. It certainly would be better spent helping people to feed themselves but what's the point in doing good works if you aren't SEEN to be doing good works. I mean that Jolie woman's got two and so Madonna needs to have at least two. A bit like a bizarre and horrifying Hollywood version of keeping up with the Joneses.

  7. the last time i liked Madonna, i was 13

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