I’m being childish again….

Yes people, once again I'm being a bit of a five year old.

A while back, Mr Vicola and I decided we wanted to move house. This was because my parents happened to have had a nosy at one that was for sale on their estate at the posh end of town. It was a four bedroomed detached house on a big plot with a fab garden and a little flat attached and the reason it was just about within our price range was that it needed an awful lot of work doing to it. And I mean a lot. It needed ripping out inside and completely renovating but it was all cosmetic stuff so we decided we could do it and put our own house on the market. Then we spotted another one round the corner from the big one that we also liked and that didn't need a lot doing to it. Thing was we'd told everyone we liked the big scruffy one and DIDN'T tell anyone except my parents, brother and my best friend that we'd changed our minds and now preferred the less scruffy one, even though it was smaller. And none of them told anyone else.

Anyway, the house we preferred got snapped up by someone else and so we decided to stay in our current house and put a conservatory on the back and when I told my mother this she said it was a relief because she wanted to tell me something that would probably piss me off. A cast iron guarantee that I'm going to be annoyed is that.

We have a family that have been friends with my family for 30 years. They lived on our road when my mother was pregnant with me and J, the mother, was pregnant with her first daughter. Me and L (the daughter) were sort of brought up together, each other's houses were interchangable to us. Mum went on to have my brother and J went on to have another daughter, C. C is possibly the most universally unpopular person I know. She was a butt ugly lump of a child who permanently had train tracks of snot running down from her nostrils and who had a whine that could set every one of your nerves jangling. She used to wind the rather more volatile but lovely L up then grass her out to her mother and stand by smirking as poor L got a bollocking. She didn't get any more attractive or charming as she grew older and once she discovered the concept of lying she really ran with it. Still does in fact. No one trusts a word she says. She's now living with a man rather older than herself who seems to have inordinatly huge amounts of money to throw about considering his occupation and they have a daughter. They live in a nice Victorian terraced house at the not posh end of the town.

So, mum tells me that a few days before they'd been for dinner with C and L's parents and C's father had announced "You know that big house that Vicola and Mr Vicola are interested in? Well C and K (her other half) have bought it". Now we weren't at that point interested in the house but the point is that she didn't know that, she thought we were and so to go and do that was in my opinion a shit thing to do. My mother was evidently of the same mind because she told C's mother in no uncertain terms that it was bang out of order and C should have had the decency to check whether I minded before going ahead. No one even knew C and K were planning on moving, it was all kept perfectly secret until it was a fait accompli and to add insult to injury I was the only person she didn't invite to the pre-building work party she had at the house because she didn't have the balls to face up to the bollocking she was expecting from me.

Now she's just put a load of photos of the massive amount of building work they're doing on the house up on Facebook. They are moving walls, extending and gutting the entire interior, far more work that we could have afforded to do had we bought it. Now I know that she's probably just pleased that there's work going on and that it's all very exciting blah blah blah but I can't help feeling a little bit like she's rubbing it in my face because she knows I'll see them. And deep down, in that secret place you don't like to acknowledge, I can't help hoping it all goes badly wrong, that it runs horribly overbudget, is gruesomely decorated and winds up looking crap. I also hope my suspicion that he hasn't bothered to research the area is correct and he spends so much on the extensive building work that he will never ever make recoup his money because anyone with the amount he'd have to charge to do so doesn't buy on that estate, they buy on the next one along that is more rural.

Is that wrong?

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19 Responses

  1. Nope, you're fully justified in your inner anger and if truth be told my inner child is throwing a tantrum in sympathy.
    I've known people like that in the past. I am no longer in touch with them – not even in the same area.

  2. Cheers! Am glad it's not just me being paranoid. My best friend also said I was justified. She also went on to say that no matter what size house she lived in the girl in question would still be a fat Radcliffe chav that everyone disliked and only tolerated so as not to upset the rest of her family. Believe me, I wouldn't be having anything to do with her if I had a choice but my parents are best friends with her parents and so my mother has laid down the three line whip – I WILL invite the cow to events that I have invited her sister to, despite the fact that I was always friends with her sister and not with her, I WILL be nice to her face even if it means steam comes out of my ears and I have to go away and bitch for an hour to vent and I WILL NOT pick a fight with her just because I don't like her. The things you do to keep the peace….

  3. Not wrong or unreasonable I would think but perfectly human.

  4. The nasty cow. Mind you, I'd take comfort from the fact that she is so universally disliked. Just picture her as she is today but still with train tracks of snot – and stop looking at her Facebook page.

  5. That's a horrible mantra to have to live by. But yes, you're right – we do these things to keep the peace.
    I'll go with Plubby's response though, stay the hell off her facebook. Infact quit facebook altogether. It's trouble, I tells ya.

  6. Just ignore her – it will hurt more. Don't talk to others about it either as it will get back to her that you are upset and feed her behaviour. Life is short, move on. A house doesn't make a happy home.

  7. Agreed … don't look at her facebook page. And next time, just once, "forget" to invite her just as she "forgot" to invite you.That was a pretty low-class cheesy thing for her to do, and – from just what you wrote – it was pretty low brow of her father to make that announcement the way he did.

  8. Secretly, silently hope that things go wrong…. like FD says I wouldn't tell anyone I was hoping though.

  9. She replied to one of the comments I left on the photos. Cow. I hope her garden disappears into a mine shaft.

  10. You're possibly right, although cyber stalking people via Facebook can be quite entertaining I suspect it may not be entirely healthy…

  11. Cheers FD! This is true. And although my house may be a fifth of the size at least my name is on the deeds. we discovered through the planning application which is public information and so on the internet, that only his name is on the deeds, not hers. As they're not married this puts her in a rather tenuous position should he choose to boot her out….

  12. I'm lauging on the outside but on the inside, you scare me. 🙂

  13. It was rather low brow of her father, yes, and my mum was most put out by it. Apparently he seemed proud of what she'd done. What he's forgetting though is that his daughter may now have the biggest house of any of his friend's children but no one will visit her in it because no one likes her. My mum is dreading the girl movning in because she'll be round the corner from her and she might start dropping in. Had it been the other daughter, Lou, everyone would have been thrilled because she's genuinely nice. And at least the rest of us co-own and co-pay for our houses, essentially C is just squatting in K's house since she pays nothing and her name doesn't appear on the deeds.

  14. You're not being childish at all. Some people get away with behaving badly/inconsiderately because they rely on other people being grown-up on their behalf. I'd unfriend her on fakebook – chances are she'll be so wrapped up in herself to notice, but if she does then she'll know why. The problem with ignoring her is that she'll think that she's got away with it and breeze on with her life as though she's not done anything wrong.

  15. I'm far from the only one who is. I know C's sister is quietly hoping, my mother is, the rest of the women in their friendship group who all get together on a Friday night for 'brew and bitch' and have watched us all grow up hope so. No one likes her smug attitude or the fact that she's not only trying to rub my nose in it but also her sister's, as Lou was trying to move at the same time but discovered she couldn't afford to and so is stuck in the tiniest two bedroom house with a husband, 2 kids and a dalmatian.

  16. I scare most people, it's the combination of fearsome temper with ferocious sarcasm that seems to alarm them….

  17. Is that wrong?Nah….retribution and wishing appropriate "bad karma" on others is a source of great happiness.

  18. If the photos are on Facebook I would suggest adding a few comments along the lines of…
    "Are you sure you should be knocking out that load-bearing wall?"
    "Non-period alterations will just devalue the property."
    "Paving that area will increase flood risk if it causes surface water retention."
    "Shouldn't you have employed a qualified architect?"
    I'm sure you can rise to the challenge. 😉

  19. Brilliant! I'm going to practice. She's not got much to do with the actual construction but she will be decorating. I shall practice my plumbers sigh and saying "Mmmm…I wouldn't have gone for those tiles myself" and "It's awfully brave of you to choose a colour like that in a room that size" in precisely the right tone of voice….

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