A proper bastard of a day

It's now 1am.

Did I watch the England v USA match at the pub? No.

Did I watch it at the barbecue I'd planned to be at? No.

Did I watch it at all? No.

Why? Because I spent this evening in A&E. Or the ER for those of you in America. The scratch on my eyeball that I went to get seen to at the walk in centre this evening turned out not be a scratch at all. When the man at a&e, where the walk in centre sent me, looked at it, turns out it's a shard of metal from watching a bloke on site use an angle grinder to cut pipe, it's still stuck in my eye and it's infected. Well done me. And after spending an hour with various sharp implements trying to pick the metal out of my eyeball, he announces that he can't get it all so I'll have to be referred to the eye hospital. Oh joy. Net result – I have to be at the eye hospital at 3pm tomorrow for some other bastard to pick at my eyeball while I try valiently to not pass out. Winner. There's so much more to blog about from my visit to a&e but I'll be honest, I'm struggling to see the funny side right now so I'll have to write about it later.

And did I get sympathy from Mr V when he returned from the pub where he had watched the England game? No. Because Mr V is redefining the concept of pissed. Mr V had to be assisted up the stairs and unceremoniously dumped, fully clothed, onto the spare bed where he merrily bellowed 'LOOOOOOOOVE YOOOOOOOU' repeatedly down the stairs. Great. If he thinks he's going to get sympathy for his self-imposed hangover when I am facing the prospect of having my eyeball probed with needles again he is in for a very rude awakening….


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20 Responses

  1. If its any consolation, the game was shit, England were piss poor, and I'd have rather spent all evening waiting with you in A&E.

  2. You really wouldn't you know. I'll write when I'm less hacked off about the woman I encountered in a&E who was there because she had a cotton bud stuck in her ear (no joke) and her family, who dropped in and out like it was a frigging drop in centre. Or the puking woman. Or the butch looking woman that I originally thought was a man who kept looking at my arse every time I stood up. A&E was amusing for the first 30 minutes while I looked at the people arond me and thought they were blogging gold. The subsequent 2 and a half hours of waiting followed by the hour of treatment were less entertaining….

  3. I am so sorry. Eye injuries are painful and scary. I hope things go better tomorrow at the eye hospital. I have never heard of such a place. If you can, let us know how things go!!!

  4. I've been there about forty years ago when I got a bit of grit in my eye from a grinder. Luckily it came out easily next day, but was bloody sore for a while. Whisky helps. In you, not your eye.

  5. That sucks. However I think that your blood pressure was probably better at the A & E than it was watching the game. It was seriously amateur hour!

  6. Cheers, I will. I can only imagine what horrors go on at an 'eye hospital' and unfortunately that's exactly what I'm doing right now, imagining horrors.

  7. I had wine when I got home from the hospital. Quite a lot of wine. It did help the pain but now I've got an appointment to have my eye probed AND a hangover. Bugger.

  8. Everyone said that the match was completely rubbish and that we got an own goal. We invent a sport and then turn out to be rubbish at it, how crappy is that?

  9. Oh no! This sucks, the thought of injuring my eye in any way really freaks me out, I hope it's not massively painful (but even if it isn't I still think you should demand the strongest pain killers you can…)

  10. Yes, and then there's Cricket. I seem to remember a lovely spoof of Paul Hardcastle's "19" that had to do with a particularly bad England v. West Indies series.

  11. They managed to get a chunk of it out so it's not really painful except for being bruised where the guy dug about in it yesterday. I'm more scared of having to have it dug around in again today because that was one of the most genuinely unpleasant hours of my life.

  12. Holy Fuckity Fuck! That's fucking awful. Absolutely fucking awful. Vicola I hope you're ok and the eye hospi9tal specialists are sorting you out. I wear contacts but they only get changed once a month. Occasionally I have issues with a lense that causes so much fucking pain I could kill a nun. I can only imagine what you are going through.

  13. I hope things go well. Please let us know!

  14. EEEK! Having endured a couple of eyeball scratches and a viral infection, I sympathize with you. The BEST past of the whole experience for me was the numbing drops in the eye which provided instant pain relief.Hopefully the foreign object is removed without any problems. I'd tell you to wear eye protection next time, but I'm sure you've heard that a few thousand times now (and I haven't even read the other comments here yet).Hopefully you rewarded Mr. V with the loud banging of pots and pans …

  15. Eeeuhh! Bit of a bother that whole poleaxe in the eye thing….for what it's worth though…the Brits didn't invent football…the Aztecs did and they used to cut off the head of the guy who scored…which in this case would at least alleviate the English team of their own goalie really, who it seems was selected by random lottery as the goalie if his performance was anything to go by.Anyway….forget the headless football people…I hope your eyeball gets all healthy and has lots of cuddling love from a sexy pirate eye-patch for a day or so while it heals perfectly and Mr. V provides foot massages and gin and tonics on demand while you recover to make up for his boorish behaviour in your eye of need!Get well and tell us about A&E…I had a little visit to the clinic myself, nothing serious, but I did get an MRI appointment out of it and I have to concur that the people in the waiting room are blogging gold.

  16. ouch! the only thing that belongs in a eye is a apple, as far as your ''football'' it was invented in china or more exactly the mongols stated kicking heads around for sport,england made it the modern game that it is now,seeing vicola with a patch over her eye and a scowl on her face would be good for our upcoming pirate's day:)

  17. Babe!!!! That does not sound at all nice! Hope they've managed to get your eye back to its normal glory. x

  18. Ow. Ow ow OW!
    Hope you're better now. I watched the match on a tiny, snowy, crap tv in a Greek bar – and it was still rubbish.

  19. i just want to say that i completely empathize with that last bit

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