Dilemma – assistance needed…

Good evening lovely Vox friends, I have to make a decision and I'm not sure what I should do.

As nothing seemed to be going on at work and I was as bored as a bored thing on an exceedingly boring day, I decided to apply for another job. So I did and got asked to do a verbal and numerical reasoning test, which I thought went pretty badly. But it apparently didn't go that horrendously because they've asked me to go to an interview, in Glasgow (3 hours or so away) and deliver a bloody 15 minute presentation on some guff. The job is worth seven grand a year more than I earn I now but is for an advisor covering not just the North west where I live but also the rest of Northern England, Scotland and Northern Ireland. In other words a lot more time away from home than I spend now.

This evening my boss phoned me at home, a most unusual occurrence. The reason? They want to promote me to sole advisor for the North West. I'll have a company car, a phone, a laptop and my life because I'll still be working the same hours I do now. And I like the people I work with. The catch? Because there's always a catch, right? Yep. My salary won't be reviewed until December because we've all had pay increases refused for the past two years (gotta love the recession) and everyone's will be looked at in December. If mine were to be raised before that and people found out there'd be riots so it'll have to be put up at the same time as everyone elses, but the car and everything else will start being sorted tomorrow.

So I need your advice. What would you do? would you chase the money and take a job you might hate or would you stay put and take what might be a smaller pay rise in a job that allows you to have a life? Any advice gratefully received….

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Why Naomi Campbell is a twat

Is it me, or does the very important issue of blood diamonds and mass slaughter in Africa appear to have been somewhat overshadowed by the 5ft ten streak of walking ego that is Naomi Campbell? In most war crimes trials, the focus is on the person being accused and what they have done but in her usual style, Ms Campbell has managed to make it all about her. And some of what she’s saying is veers over the border from ‘silly’ to ‘absolute batshit madness’.

First there was getting her there in the first place. Now I’m sure that sitting about in a courtroom isn’t everyone’s idea of a fun afternoon out, all that due process and legalese must be as dull as ditchwater. But this guy is on trial for horrific war crimes so perhaps announcing to the court, in the tones of a teenager informed she has to spend the afternoon at Great- Auntie Grace’s 80th birthday party, “I didn’t really want to be here, obviously I just want to get on with my life, this is a major inconvenience to me”. Is that…is it….yes it is. That sound you can hear ladies and gentlemen, is the sound of the world’s tiniest violin playing for Naomi, a lament for the poor supermodel who had to rearrange her decleor facial just because some stupid people got themselves killed and mutilated. Who do they think they are? Do they not realise that Ms Campbell has a busy schedule? She has to…erm…well…do, like, loads of much more important things. I just can’t really think of any off-hand. Taking a look at her face though, I’d say the botox should hold up until she can get home. Still, nice to see she’s made the effort and put on her nicest, high necked, ivory “I didn’t knowingly receive dodgy gifts off a blood soaked nutjob’ dress. And not wanting to be there is NOT an excuse for turning up to court late. If it were, no court would ever run to schedule because very few people in there WANT to be there. Have a bit of respect you stupid mare this trial isn’t being run for your convenience.

Then there was her arrival. Everyone knew she was going to be giving evidence, everyone knew that the trial was being televised. So can anyone tell me WHY she insisted on getting a court order banning photographs being taken outside or inside the court house? Why? Her evidence was going to be broadcast to the world so what the hell difference does it make if someone gets a snap of her walking in? She even tried to get an order banning pictures being taken of her as she travelled across Holland on the way to trial and back but the judge had evidently decided enough was enough and announced that her writ didn’t stretch that far. Showing what seems to have been the first grain of good sense in this whole circus performance. The only reason I can think of for insistence on the photo ban is that her ego has finally managed to take over her entire cranium, cutting off the oxygen to the few brain cells she was graced with at birth and leaving her with no powers of reasoning at all. It’s a theory that would also explain why she’s a crap liar. First she knew nothing of any diamonds or Charles Taylor, next she got some ‘dirty stones’ and was sat next to him at dinner. Word in your shell-like Naomi – if someone was taking pictures, don’t bother to lie about it, you’ll just end looking like a dick. Or more of a dick than usual in your case.  Ironic too, that a woman who has spent her working years making huge amounts of money out of being photographed, has now developed such an aversion to the camera. If it weren’t for photographers she’d be just another ordinary person like the rest of us, probably not even able to afford a maid to throw things at or a fancy lawyer for when the air-rage takes over on the plane. And let’s be honest, it’s not so much Naomi that’s in danger from the photographers, it’s them from her. She after all has never been punched by a paparazzi, something that cannot be said in reverse.

Still, how can we have expected her to remember something as mundane as receiving a pouch of diamonds in the middle of the night from a group of blokes after sitting next to a rabid dictator at dinner? I mean Mia Farrow remembered but she’s probably got a really good memory or something and anyway, she woken up in the middle of the night and given presents ALL the time apparently, ‘I get concierges knocking on my door with gifts. It’s quite normal’. Absolutely love, happens to me ALL the time. I can never get a decent night’s kip in a hotel for burly men dropping off uncut gems at the door. But apparently ‘the diamonds were very small’ so of course that means they don’t count doesn’t it Naomi?

All in all, Ms Campbell doesn’t come out of this very well at all. She’s demonstrated a quite spectacular arrogance, both in refusing to come to trial and help the thousands who have lost family, have seen their kids trained as soldiers and introduced to amphetemines, who have been mutilated and also in assuming that she was the person that mattered most at this trial. She’s proven herself to be a woman who takes uncut diamonds off men she barely knows, and let’s be honest, she could have returned them couldn’t she? In fact she’s proved what she is, a pointless streak of ego whose arrogance has been allowed to run unchecked for so long that she now believes her own bullshit.

And you know what the saddest thing about this whole debacle is? That the trial was passing by largely unremarked by the world’s press until Naomi Campbell got involved and started her usual ludicrous antics. If it highlights the issue of blood diamonds and the mess that has been made in Liberia and Sierra Leone then at least something good will have come of it but it’s a sad state of affairs that it takes a twat like Naomi to make the world sit up and take notice of the atrocities that have gone on in Africa.

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Retail Therapy

In order to cheer myself up in these annoying and frustrating times I have been out and blued some cash I can't afford on something I don't need, namely these:

They make me happy. Yes people, I AM that shallow.

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