Public holiday, hurrah! Can we write in and vote when?

According to the Mirror today, the most boring royal that the UK has produced in 730 years is due to wed his equally dull girlfriend in 2011. Normally I wouldn’t give two hoots but apparently, because he is the heir to the throne we get a public holiday so naturally now I do! According to the Mirror, who may well be making it all up anyway, they can’t get married in 2012 because it’s too busy, what with the Olympics in London and the World Cup. Absolutely, I mean the Olympics is a fortnight and the world Cup is a month. So that only leaves another 46 weeks in the year, they’ll never manage to squeeze it in. Romance is not dead. But anyway, it’s set to be next year, in the summer, possibly August. But hang on a sec, the middle of August? Are you on glue people? We already have a public holiday in August, a fortnight after the proposed wedding time. That’s no good to us. We need one in that hideous barren time between the end of August and Christmas, when all we see is gloom, rain, dark and the never ending stretch of work that results in having got all enthusiastic and used up your entire annual leave allowance by July. Plus it’s August, in the UK. I can 100% guarantee it’ll be pissing down. You can spend £3000 on a celebrity hairdresser and a stylist but send her out for a couple of minutes in a British storm and she’ll still look like she’s just crawled in having downed 23 tequilas and gone to sleep in a hedge.  No, we want the wedding in November, when everything is shit, dark and cold and we can’t be arsed getting out of bed to go and defrost the car to go to work. I for one would like Prince William so much more if he earned me a duvet day in November. I’m wondering if we can have some sort of television vote to decide the date. After all, pretty everything else can now be decided by ringing an 0898 number and selecting, why not this?

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23 Responses

  1. I remember being v excited about a royal wedding back in 1981 – I was 8. Now I just think – yawn

    • I don’t remember that one, I was a ’79 baby so was too small but apparently our street had a big streetparty. I’d like to think that it’ll happen this time, if only because that way I might learn what some of our neighbours are called, but it won’t. I remember Fergie and Andrew’s wedding though, that was fun, we got a day off school and I watched it on the telly. If we have a public holiday this time, I have a sneaking suspicion I’ll be spending it in the pub, where I spend most of my bank holidays.

  2. You’d think someone would tell him that he should stop pretending he isn’t going bald and take some clippers to his aristocratic scalp …. It might make him look more his real age. Or of course it might just emphasise his massive snout and horsey teeth.

    I suspect the day off is to mollify us taxpayers for the stonking bill we’ll be footing when he weds Miss Dreary.

    • Ah they can have my contribution towards what will no doubt be a horrifically tasteful display of boringness in exchange for a day of getting up late and sitting in the pub. Gladly.

      He really does need to sort that hair. Or more accurately, lack of it. He’s younger than me but he currently looks about 40.

  3. When Chaz and Di got married my friends mum – a die hard royalist set up her new VCR and taped it whilst she went to the golf club and got hammered in a patriotic gesture of shared alcoholic revelry.
    When she got home – having missed the entire TV spectacle she rewound the tape and settled down with a glass of malt for hours of splendid indulgence.
    I am delighted to say that she taped the wrong channel and was greeted by the highlights of Russ Abbott and his crazy gang. The video recorder was last seen exiting the living room window and smashing on the patio. It cost the equivalent of a weeks wages then.
    Who says royal weddings can’t be fun!!
    My vote is November 5th then we can blow them all up and no one would know.

    • Smirk. That must have really wound her up something rotten! Although given how things turned out she might as well have watched Russ Abbott. Blimey, Russ Abbott, that really is a blast from the past….

  4. I think all enthusiasm for royalty died with Diana.

    • I was never a fan of Diana myself. Too much show and not enough substance. Plus she was a media tart, using them when she wanted and moaning about intrusion when she didn’t. Although I do admit she did a lot for charities, in particular AIDS and landmines.

  5. I remember cutting class in college to watch Princess Diana’s wedding. I watched every second of it!!

    The only problem, it sounds, about November is that the weather is abismal. Not the greatest time for a wedding, lol! Just a good time for a holiday.

    So, you think he is very boring? I think he is pretty cute, although his brother seems like a lot more fun 😉

    • He is definately pretty dull. I tried to think of an exciting or funny thing he’d done and couldn’t. His brother however has all his hair, is attractive and by all accounts is a real nutter. I like that MUCH more. If I were wanting to marry one of them I’d certainly go for Harry, who looks like someone you could go for a very entertaining night on the drink with….

  6. His bald patch is getting larger….. I’ll take a day too though I doubt it will be extended to me.

  7. Ahhh…just stock up on supplies of confetti to use on whatever day the phone poll decides Vicola.

    You guys do pomp and circumstance better than any other country in the world……..you keep the rest of the world entertained.

  8. That’s a heck of a long time to retain virginity assuming it’s a white wedding.

    To hold over the wedding fanatics they should subscribe to one of our women’s mags who did a beautiful job on a TV star but got sprung by Media Watch as having done some creative writing and a bit of Photoshopping.

    I must post it up. It is well written if you like Mills and Boon.

    • They met at uni, I think it’s fair to assume she is no longer in possession of her cherry. And they’ve been together 8 years, if she can stay pure for 8 whole years she’s even more boring than I gave her credit for. Go on, post the women’s mag thingy, I’m intrigued now….

  9. I’m so glad! Finally. She’s so perfect for him. I remember my mom insisting we get up at 2 in the morning to watch the Charles-Diana wedding live. I’ll never forget how Diana recited that she would take Charles as “her awfully wedded husband.” LOL! So prescient!

    • Yes, it didn’t turn out to be the most successful union in history did it? The problem was that neither of them grasped tradition. British royals have been banging everything in sight range and hating their spouses for over a thousand years but the secret was discretion, you didn’t parade it. Everyone knew but you just didn’t mention it, like when your great aunt farts at a family gathering.

  10. We need the public holiday to be as close to the summer equinox as possible – then we don’t just get ‘a day’ off, we get a whole shitload of sunny hours.

    • How nice would that be? Mind you, if they do that, the viewing figures are going to be WAY down…”Hmmm…watch two boring people I don’t know get hitched? Or sit in the beer garden sipping fruit cider and saoking up the sun? Let me think…”

  11. lol! – my mother got me up to watch Charles and Diana’s wedding, and Fergie and Andrew’s wedding – think i might skip this one – lol! (although i’ll goggle at the pics)

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