I’ve just received a bollocking from the Head Geek (leader of the IT geeks in case you were wondering). On Friday morning the usual guy that I think gets in here about 4am was on holiday so when I arrived at 7.30am, this side of the office was still locked up. I went down to accounts, collected the key, unlocked this half of the office then because the main office was still all locked up and I don’t know their code I couldn’t put the key in the pigeonhole to be taken back down to accounts like I usually do. So I put it on my desk to take down later and of course, inevitably forgot about it.

In most normal offices, this would result in using the spare key. Or asking someone else who has a key to use theirs. Not ours. Apparently my actions resulted in a full scale search of several locations and a number of offices including mine, (where the key was located) because forgetting to return the key to the pigeonhole had rendered the Under-Geek unable to lock the building so he had rung the Head Geek in a massive panic.

Now this was undoubtedly my bad, since I forgot to return the key but for fuck’s sakes, what sort of security system relies on the functioning brain cells of someone at 7.30am on a Friday morning? And who only has one key to lock the building available to an office staffed by 30 odd people? Mental.

Head Geek was very determined to get through to me the seriousness of what I had done. Each “Sorry, my mistake, I will ensure that next time I put the key back” was greeted with a fresh reason why I ruined someone’s life, delivered in a soft voice, as though I was some sort of dangerous mental patient. I’m wondering if he heard me shouting at the printer last week. This went on for a while but I did manage not to suggest that short of turning back time and returning the key there is little more I can now do than say sorry, won’t happen again. I have been here 8 years and this is the first time I’ve managed to do that, I think we can all be allowed one key based fuck up in 8 years, don’t you think?

I suspect I am now persona non grata in the IT department. The Under Geek is not in today, I wonder if he’s still getting over the trauma?


13 Responses

  1. Oh, for heavens sakes!! Surely we all make mistakes. Goodness. If it is such a big deal, why don’t they have people “sign out” when they get the key. Then, they can easily see where the key is. I can never understand it when a boss or co-worker expects a person to be perfect. It is just not going to happen as we ALL make mistakes. I am sorry that one apology was not enough for him. Sorry that you were made to feel like you allowed a bank to be robbed. Hang in there! They will forget when the next person makes a mistake!

    • Ah it’s only the geeks anyhow. I only speak to them once a year, at the christmas party and that’s not through choice. Each christmas party a couple of them get the courage (usually booze fuelled) to attempt to chat me up. Sigh.

  2. Sounds to me like 30 “odd” people work there indeed …

    • Oh believe me, you’re not so wide of the mark there. Don’t even get me started on Creepy Irishman whose personal questions and strange expressions leave me wanting to shower myself in bleach every time he speaks to me. If he doesn’t have emaciated women chained to his cellar walls I will be very surprised.

  3. Bad, Vicola. You are the only person in the office who ever made a mistake. Of course, thinking positively, there’s a ready made excuse for an extra G&T after work…

  4. Clearly, the words, “I’m sorry,” are not included in Geek education, therefore they passed over his head and comprehension was thwarted, or, more likely, he had things he needed to say, which he was going to say regardless.

    When it gets to that stage, it’s best just to sit there, smile, mumble at appropriate pauses and think, “Wanker!” at any available spare moment, then -type it, of course, when you share it with the rest of us!

    • He’d clearly thought about what he was going to say, had planned it all out and was going to say it all come hell or high water. A simple “Can you make sure you put the key back” would have done the job, not the full ten minute lecture on how I panicked some geeks.

  5. Reminds me of that guy in Office Space screaming, “I have people skills, dammit! What is wrong with you people?”

  6. I think the system is silly – not Vicola!

  7. Perhaps Head Geek should take a brief holiday to some remote drought stricken village in Ethiopia to regain a proper perspective on life and the world.

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