Wiki Leaks – terrorists or just naughty boys?

Much has been made in the last couple of days of Wikileaks leaking a truckload of diplomatic papers. Now leaving aside the fact that if the powers that be hadn’t made a big fuss it would all have blown over without anyone really bothering as the chances are the stuff would be as dull as fuck anyway, is it really all as damaging as some are making out? The Whitehouse is claiming it puts the lives of diplomats in danger and one Republican congressman is demanding that wikileaks be designated a terrorist organisation. But then we all know how much authorities like the word terrorism because it allows them to get stuff banned. So what has actually been said?

Italian Prime Minister is feckless, vain and ineffective – You think? The man is a walking embarrassment to Italy, the very definition of the Oldest Swinger in Town, usually to be found pawing over some inappropriately young beauty that he wouldn’t stand a hope in hell with were he not the Italian Prime Minister. If he spent as much time engaging in Prime Ministerial duties as he does engaging in the hunt for skirt he’d probably have found the secret to world peace by now. As it is, all he’s found is the condom machine in virtually every state headquarters in Europe.

Nicholas Sarkozy of France is thin-skinned and authoritarian – The guy wears Cuban heels because he’s shorter than his wife so the news that he’s thin skinned shouldn’t come as a massive surprise. And let’s be fair here, if you weren’t authoritarian in France then nothing would ever get done because the buggers spend half their lives on strike and the other half planning when they’re going to be on strike.

The Afghan president, Hamid Karzai is extremely weak and susceptible to conspiracy theories – the only reason his country isn’t in complete meltdown is because it’s full of US and european troops. Once they go, it’s going to descend into batshit madness as the warlords re-emerge and battle for supremacy and Karzai has a month tops before he’s bumped off. Just because you’re paranoid, doesn’t mean they’re not out to get you. If Karzai reads this he’s just going to assume it’s another conspiracy to add to the rest

Prince Andrew exhibits ‘rude behaviour’ while abroad – So does his father, it’s probably genetic. And why would anyone be surprised by it anyway? He’s a middle aged lard bucket who spends his time lounging about on yachts chasing inappropriately young and attractive women and not doing any work ever. He hasn’t done anything useful since the Falklands and that was some considerable time ago now. It can’t possibly be a surprise to anyone that Prince Andrew is a cock. Bet the Queen worked it out years ago.

Colonel Gaddafi is strange and travels with a voluptuous blonde nurse – You’re going to struggle to argue that describing Gaddafi as strange is anything other than bang on the money. He’s been barking for years. Not a clue about the nurse but it has to be said that having impressive hooters should not be a bar to a career nursing a mad old dictator so it’s entirely possible.

Robert Mugabe is a crazy old man – There’s nothing more needs saying really, it’s nothing we haven’t all thought. And probably said.

Dimitry Medvedev is Robin to Putin’s batman – Personally I see him more as Emu to Putin’s Rod Hull, a big useless lump of fibre to the slightly sinister and crazy man withhis hand up its arse.

So, all in all the US diplomats have come out of it rather better than expected, they’ve shown insight none of us realised they had and in some cases, quite a good sense of humour. As for calling for Wikileaks to be made a terrorist site, grow up mate. Sometimes when someone makes you look like a twat all you can do is stand up and take a bow with as much grace as you can muster. Running along to teacher to get them expelled just makes you look like the pathetic kid at school who got bogwashed because he couldn’t take a ribbing.


25 Responses

  1. I can’t argue with a single part of your summary, Vik. Spot on as always. Shame prick Philip didn’t get a mention.
    You have cheered my day up – am stuck on a training course…

    • Oooh training course, they are rarely the height of excitement. Can you get away with snoozing at the back of the class?

    • What’s wrong with Phil The Greek?
      I have no doubt he’s rhe sanest of the bunch and takes tremendous delight in saying just what the **** he likes any time he likes then basking in the batshit-mental image in which he’s portrayed in delicious glee, reading all the feedback and outrage and storing it mentally to recount at a dinner party or to the great grandkids

    • What’s wrong with Phil The Greek?
      I have no doubt he’s rhe sanest of the bunch and takes tremendous delight in saying just what the **** he likes any time he likes then basking in the batshit-mental image in which he’s portrayed in delicious glee, reading all the feedback and outrage and storing it mentally to recount at a dinner party or to the great grandkids at some Pontiac in the future.

      He’s excellent value did money!

  2. Those characterizations are hilarious and so true. It’s clear the US can’t do a thing about wikileaks except piss and whine.

  3. Oh … and they also “exposed” that many Arab leaders don’t think too highly of Iran. What a surprise …

  4. Typical response to whistle blower material and I hope they keep it coming. I want to see one where the Yanks candidly comment that John Howard was a total lap dog to Bush and to clingy to tolerate.

    He used to follow QEII around like a lost puppy until she told him to naf off.

    I wonder if that Republican felt Scooter Libby should have been denied time in the Big House after exposing a US spy. Now there is a case reputed to have actually cost lives because of political malice.

  5. Well, it’s just not nice that someone would say those things in public like that. I mean, what if someone said Bill Gates was a weenie? Oops… Guess WordPress is now a designated terrorist organization…

  6. Prince Andrew = thick, misogynistic, over-privileged, spoilt Little Englander. He’d be a great asset to the BNP.

    Excellent summary – and I hope Mr Wikileaks manages to avoid the whiny schoolkids ….

  7. Prince Andrew is a cock! That made me laugh my head off. But I thought he was an Ambassador for Trade, or something equally vague?

  8. Bwahahaha! WikiLeak all that!

  9. Thank you, Vicola. Can always count on you to put things in perspective. One of my “friends” from school on FB just decided to boycott because they “housed” Wikileaks or something and she believes that Wikileaks put her husband (who is in the military) and the US military in danger. In the face of that stupidity (and also because I have no idea why she friended me – we were never actually friends and i was only being polite in accepting), I promptly defriended her. Frankly, if any of that stuff was a surprise to people, they’re not very well-informed – or even half-way literate. At worst, the stuff was mildly embarrassing in being true. Who’s really surprised that Saudi Arabia and Israel were advocating action against Iran, even if these countries are polar opposites in ideology. And, that more personal stuff. Lol! Seriously. Apparently, Der Spiegel just called the whole thing “no less than a political meltdown” for US Foreign Policy. I hardly think so.

    what it is getting is blown into ridiculous proportions – get a grip, people!

  10. in other news, Amazon just threw Wikileaks out

    • Over here there’s been a spate of hacker attacks on payment companies who have stood against Wikileaks or refused to process payment to Wikileaks or something like that. Hackers have been causing chaos for Mastercard and Paypal. It seems to be escalating WAY beyond what it was. And if I hear one more moron inform me that what they’ve released is going to help terrorists I will scream. They don’t need Wikileaks to tell them where our water treatment sites are, they need the websites of the water companies and Google maps. I know because that’s where I look up the addresses of the sites I have to visit for work and if I can do it, I’m sure Osama’s little friends can too. FFS, one person mentions terrorists and suddenly the brains of the masses leave the building.

  11. So far I haven’t heard anything earth shattering or not already known or suspected,

    • Me neither, I don’t see what the big fuss is all about, unless it’s jsut a case of American Administration pride taking a bit of a beating.

  12. The only interesting pieces of information that the leaks have revealed to the world is that the US doesn’t like internet censorship (i.e. China, Cuba, Russia, Iran). Unless it’s the US doing the attempted censorship.

    And also, re Andrew, we have to remember that the person who wrote that assessment of HRHPA was *a high-ranking, career member of the American diplomatic corps* (i.e. divorced from reality, upper class, former Ivy League twat).

    I’m not an Andrew apologist, but he did good work in The Falklands and through some seriously ballsy, off-the-page flying saved the lives of a couple of friends of mine. Yes he’s a Royal Freeloader, but I’d suggest that even as such he’s got more connection with the likes of you and me than some Harvard-educated plankton.

    • I didn’t realise he actually did useful stuff during the Falklands. I knew he flew but assumed it would be the usual thing of ‘not letting the Royal anywhere near any action’. Congratulations to him if he actually saved lives, he’s done more useful stuff that I gave him credit for. Although I should point out that it was the last time he did anything useful and that was in 1982. Very nearly 30 years ago. Still, I guess it’s more useful than anything I’ve acheived in 30 years so I’ll let him off. And start instead on Princess Michael of Kent, who is expensive, rude and has NEVER done anything of any value so far as I can see….

      • Agree with you on both counts. The Kents are just a drain on the economy of the planet. And as for Air Miles Andy, although it takes a special kind of lunatic to lumber a 125mph helicopter in to the path of a heat-seeking missile travelling at 3,000mph and drop chaff and flares to divert it away from the big fat radar image it’s locked on to. But yeah, done nothing since. If we rewarded every service veteran with the Life of Riley, I wouldn’t complain.

  13. Great post.

    I don’t think that people are any the better or worse for knowing about the personality quirks of these international figures.

    Nothing new or intriguing has been revealed. These aren’t earth-shattering leaks; I don’t believe that the site is a site of heroes, as many people have been making it out to be.

    • I agree. I mean the news that diplomats think a lot of the people they have to work alongside are prats is hardly world-changing, it’s not even surprising. What IS surprising is that they were stupid enough to commit it in writing. Do people learn nothing from the great scandals of history? I don’t think the site is a site of heroes either but what I do find dirty is the way Assange is now being treated because he’s pissed off the US administration and left them looking silly. I find the timing of this sexual assault charge highly dubious and as for the rumour that if he’s charged the US are to call for him to be extradited from the UK to the US so THEY can deal with him? Well that would just be completely out of order. If our government bowed to that I would be exceedingly unimpressed.

  14. Great post, Vicola. As you have described with typical eloquence, all the “revelations” fall squarely into the “No shit, Sherlock” bracket.

    As for the hysterical rantings from some U.S. corners, including one senator calling for his (Assange’s) execution, in the immortal words of Captain Mainwaring’s sidekick, “They don’t like it up ’em!”

  15. Ohmyjesus! I laughed so hard at parts of this… you are sooo right. The television here in the US is still obsessed with the damn wikileaks. Calling it the “diplomatic 9/11”! WTF? The US is full of drama queens in places of “high importance.” All I could think about when I first heard about it was that, even as a teenager, I knew better than to put anything shitty I thought about someone in print. Really, COMMON SENSE people. And if you’re going to put it in print, you have to expect it to bite you in the ass at some point. It’s amazing how brilliantly idiotic some people can be.

  16. I take serious umbrage at your description of the Italian Prime minister. ANY self-respecting prostitute will allow any man to paw at her inappropriately for several thousand Euros a day. I resent the implication they are doing it as a result of his “status”.
    Even the lowest and commonest of crack-addicted whores wouldn’t allow Silvio within 50 feet of her if it was not for some hard cash.

    • Fair point but you can’t deny he is the oldest swinger in town and if he spent as much time running country as he does chasing underage skirt then Italy would be a world super-power….

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