ARGGGHH! It’s another one of those days.

It has indeed been another one of those days.

This afternoon was spent on a shitworks in one of the seedier parts of the city. Yes, the shitworks look marginally prettier in the snow but it still stank of shit only this time, it stank AND it was minus three so pretty quickly, my feet went numb. I noticed as I was walking about that the water going through the launder channel (concrete channel full of water that smells of poo to the uninitiated) was red. On enquiry, I was informed that this was because it’s slaughter day at the abbatoir and their waste goes into the same sewerage system. Will the glamour of my job never end? Still, I got a bit of an early dart so off home I went to investigate the sparkly new things that were due to be delivered today, both orders had been put to ‘dispatched’ and were due to be at my house this very afternoon.

Wrong. Not only had the parcels not come but the CD and DVD I ordered off Amazon sometime last month are still not here either. On checking the ‘my account’ section of Amazon to complain that they’ve now sailed well past their estimated delivery date, I discover that the only option I have been given to click is ‘return goods’. Return goods? Are you have a bastard laugh you wankers? How can I return goods that you never bloody got to me in the first place? And no, I don’t give a flying rats arse if the snow has forced Royal Mail to ramp up its service from ‘Rather Incompetant’ to ‘Smirk, you’ve no fucking chance mate’, I ordered my stuff, I want my stuff and I’m going to complain until someone, and I don’t care if it’s Amazon, Royal Mail or the Tooth Fairy, delivers it. Still, thinks I, I can go and watch a DVD instead of playing with my new stuff.

Wrong. The remote control to the DVR recorder has died on its arse and thanks to the unique way our system is set up, I can’t watch the TV other than through the DVR player. Which wouldn’t be such a problem as you can switch the machine on by pressing a button at the front, no, the problem is since the sodding digital switchover, every time you switch the machine on, a big blue box comes up on screen to ask you if you want it to scan to find the new channels its detected. The normal way of making the annoying message go away is to press ‘ok’ but pressing ‘ok’ repeatedly didn’t work, because as stated previously the bastard remote control has died and my new idea of shouting at the telly and banging the remote on the side of the coffee table to try and make it work didn’t do anything. So off I trundle upstairs to order a new one online. Panasonic’s website should have replacements that work, grand, let’s try them. Yes they have them but what’s this? The delivery time is 5 to 7 working days. Are you people on glue? If I can survive without it for 7 working days then I obviously don’t need your bloody product do I? Ah, here’s an express next day delivery option. Oh, but you can’t use it unless you order before twelve and at twelve I didn’t know the fucking thing was broken did I? Plus it’s an extra £11.50. Robbing bastards, double the price because you know people will pay it as they need the stupid thing to make teh telly work. I hate you Panasonic. Fortunately my mum and dad have the same make of machine so I can borrow their remote control for tonight since they won’t be using the box because Nigel Slater is on followed by Grand Designs (it’s not all naked twister and gin for the over 50s you know) but sadly they are going to want it back at some point and I can’t go out and get it until Mr V gets back, on the off chance that the twats from Parcelforce who according to ‘track your parcel’ loaded my parcel onto a truck at Piccadilly, 7  miles away 9 hours ago, turn up while I’m out.

And I’ve got PMT. The world hates me.

I wonder if it’s too early for a drink?

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10 Responses

  1. Don’t scream at me, but it’s not just dead batteries?

    It amazed me that when the digital switch went on (and hasn’t that gone along just great?) and I had to upgrade my satellite dish it was a three week long wait … until I wondered aloud whether their competition could get to me sooner.

    • Oddly enough GOM, that’s exactly what Mr V asked when he got home and found me shouting at the remote. He then asked if I’d banged it on the side of the coffee table. I hate that I’m predictable sometimes. I did indeed check the batteries first before attempting to take the bastard thing apart and shouting at it. It’s malfunctioned a few times recently but I’ve managed to get it going with my usual brand of charm, swearing and low level violence but yesterday it just wasn’t working. Stupid technology. It drives me daft that they now engineer products that can’t function without the remote control and then hold you to ransom if the bloody thing breaks. And then never allow you to have the new one delivered to work, nope, has to go to your home address, like we all spend all day sat at home waiting for deliveries to come rather than at work.

      Nope, looks like I’m still grumpy.

  2. Oh so PMT does exist 🙂 I’m sure you’ll feel better by tomorrow. (and you might be able to get a spare remote off Freecycle, possibly…?)

    • Today is looking better. I’ve bitten the bullet and paid for next day delivery on the remote control (grudgingly) and I could watch the telly last night because I borrowed the remote from my parent’s DVR box, which is the same as mine (only the posher version with the bigger hard drive. Show offs). Today I can pick my parcel up from the post office after work. I am indeed feeling much less like I want to kill people with my bare hands. But then it’s only quarter to nine, there’s plenty of time for that to change yet….

  3. Ooh – you do get to do fun things in your job don’t you! I hate that “old fashioned” buttons have disappeared off items with the advent of the remote control. I recently had the same problem but it was flat batteries. When I opened the drawer where batteries are kept there were no batteries because the manservant had used the last ones and not put more on the shopping list. I was home alone, deathly ill and just wanted to watch TV while lying on the couch – it just shouldn’t be that hard to do!!

  4. Stupid hateful technology. Aaaargh. I feel your pain.

    I’m currently tracking a parcel that I’m returning to ASOS. So far it’s just been shuttled between endless depots. It would have been quicker for me to just take it back to them myself.

  5. Deepest sympathies. I too have a Panasonic TV and DVD recorder, I thought it was just me who got that stupid bloody box every time I switch on. I can’t understand why a machine so intelligent it needs a 40-page manual to get it to work can’t remember it scanned the bloody channels 12 months ago when I first set it up.

    “Too early for a drink?” – Does not compute, please explain.

    • Nope, I get the damned box everytime I switch on the DVR. My parents have a Panasonic TV and DVR so they get the message all the time too. It’s a Panasonic issue with the digital switchover I think.

  6. I hate Panasonic, too.

    • According to Mr V the damned thing has arrived. It’d better work or you’ll be able to hear the resulting explosion of temper from where you are…

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