Heading for Christmas

I’d just like to reassure the lovely GOM that I have not in fact been taken hostage by the customer services division of Landrover for daring to question their man-centric sales policy, I’ve just been very busy and had a bit of writer’s block!

Talkinf of busy, I was planning to go to the candlelight carol service at the church where me and Mr V got married on Sunday. The service was on sunday by the way, I did not get married on Sunday. Just thought I should make that clear. The service was at 6.30pm. At 7pm, while cleaning out the fridge on a whim and because I’d read an article in the paper about how the germs in people’s fridges could kill them, especially if the fridge was as minging as mine, I realised that I had in fact missed the carol service. So I didn’t get to go and sing carols in the candlelight because at the time everyone else was giving it a burst of ‘Hark the Herald Angels’, I was scrubbing what looked suspiciously like dried blood out of the crevices on the fridge shelf using an old toothbrush. I am a twat. On the plus side. I am now a twat with a hygienically clean refrigerator. All I have to do now is paint the hall, stairs and landing, train the dog to shit on the astroturf and not the new flowerbeds, fix the letterbox, find someone to fix all the downstairs doorhandles, clear out the cupboard under the stairs and re-gloss the interior wood in the house and my christmas ‘To Do’ list will be completed. This said, what is most likely to happen is what happened last year, when I ignored the christmas ‘To Do’ list in favour of getting fat and pissed until the new year when I was hungover, lardier than in November and still in possession of a fully formed list of shit that needs doing. Still, it’s the thought that counts eh?

Hope your preparations are going well!


8 Responses

  1. Whew! Glad to know I don’t have to worry anymore.

    And I was a little concerned that maybe you’d been kidnapped and someone would try to take up a collection for the ransom and … well … uh …

    • Maybe Vicola could use a little help with the painting and fixing the downstairs doorhandles GOM…..I’d offer to assist except I’m further away and don’t have the renovating experience that you recently had, and besides doorhandles operate differently in the southern hemisphere.

      • They turn in the opposite direction? lol

        If you’ll remember, I hired someone who knew what they were doing to do my renovation work.

        Oh … and I don’t have a passport. If you time your travel to “help” her just right, GOF, you could be in England in time for the 2012 Summer Olympics and beach volleyball …

    • Dammit GOM, I was just setting fire to my passport to ensure I wouldn’t have one either…..then I read your bit about beach volleyball…..I wonder if British Immigration will accept my slightly singed and and watermarked passport.

  2. The household uses of old toothbrushes (teethbrushes?) should never be underestimated. I used to have violent arguments (not really) with the soon-to-be-ex-Mrs-Jones about her manic OCD-ness when it came to throwing away old toothbrushes (teethbrushes?). She failed to understand that the world would end and Life As We Know It Would Be Wiped Out if I didn’t have a ready supply of old toothbrushes (teethbrushes?) in the Drawer Of Evertything.

    Women, sometimes, lack vision. Yourself excluded, of course – having met you, you are completely fucking wonderful and you can stop twisting my arm behind my back now please thank you.


    I hope your Christmas is excellent, your New Year is excellent and the 12 months through to the Old Year is also… excellent.



  3. I hope you got through Christmas and New Year okay and are looking forward to a better 2012 than 2011 was.

    • Thanks Emjay. Christmas was tolerable, not quite as bad as we were expecting and new year was funny, thanks to my mad friends and a lot of booze! Hope yours was good…

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