Bad Manners and the Cesspit of Lunacy.

Well, a fortnight to go until I leave this hallowed place of bullshit and pointlessness for pastures new and it still feels like I’m wading kneedeep through a sea of lunacy and idiots. Emails for stuff I’m quite blatantly not going to bother doing are still coming in thick and fast and are being filed in the ‘can’t be arsed with this nonsense’ box. What is really annoying me though is that no one further up the food chain than the Framework Manager has bothered to acknowledge that I’m leaving. Managing Director, who I have worked a lot with recently fixing some cock ups that happened on site, didn’t bother to speak to me all last week about anything at all. I assumed he was on holiday. He wasn’t, he’s just an ill mannered twat who doesn’t even have the common┬áto acknowledge receipt of the resignation letter from someone who has worked for the company for nearly ten years and who recently has put in countless hours of unpaid overtime to pull his organisation out of the shit. He’s on holiday now mind you, for a fortnight so won’t be back before I leave, meaning he at no point had any intention of saying anything to me about the fact I’m leaving. Wanker.I have heard nothing from the massed hordes of eejits at Enterprise’s ‘Shared Services’ about whether my resignation has been accepted and filed (not that I give a tiny flying rat’s ass if it has, I’m off anyway, eventually someone will stop paying me I’m sure) and what I do with the company car when I finished. Am thinking of emailing employee assets on my leaving day to inform them that their car is parked outside my house and the key is taped to the inside of the wheel arch, along with my company mobile phone. Whether they then choose to collect it or not is entirely up to them.

Tomorrow I have to drive all the way to Durham to attend a meeting about how the integration of the two companies is progressing and what the plans for the future are. I asked if I could be excused from this as there seems little point in me doing a 5 hour round trip to find out information that will have sod all bearing on my life or working practices but the answer was no, because Boss Woman, who it has to be said is utterly batshit crazy and who never does any work beyond sending emails demanding stuff off the rest of us, wants an ‘update’ from me. Why I can’t just email this update is completely beyond me but hey, I don’t pay for the fuel and it’s a day out so what the hell.

I can’t imagine why I didn’t resign earlier. It’s not until none of it matters any more that you realise just what a tidal wave of shite had been washing over you. Really, adding your boss to your spam list is something that everyone should try, it’s very liberating and frees up enormous amounts of your time.


I’ve been AWOL

In more recent times I have been AWOL from my little blog, life working for Enterprise (time to name and shame) has been so unbelievably depressing and stressful that I haven’t even had the energy or inclination to bitch. A sad state of affairs indeed. I have lost touch with the day to day musings of charming folks such as Brennig, GOM, GOF and Flamingo Dancer. I have not ripped anyone a new one since the lovely Samantha Brick crossed my path. But this may all be about to change because….

I have handed in my notice.

I have a new job. No longer will I be Corporate Wankery’s Bitch, the person who is desperately trying to keep up with the vast array of bullshit, nonsense and time wasting crap that is flung my way, now I am leaving and I no longer give a fuck. I don’t even bother reading half the shite that lands in the inbox and if Ms Bigshot, who I think may be my boss (chain of command got a little bit hazy since my previous boss left), thinks that I am going to bother my arse to fill in all her tracker sheets; locate,deliver an Enterprise induction to and send all the training records of every agency staff member I have to training services and bother my arse to to arrange audit management system training for all my site supervisors, she can get fucked. Notice is in, I leave here on the 14th and until that date I shall be doing a) stuff that needs doing so I don’t land my successor in too much shit and b) stuff that looks interesting like sitting in site cabins drinking tea and gossiping, the way I used to before the Corporate Wankery descended. I have been transformed from the grumpiest person at work to a cheerful soul who will soon be earning a salary it’s actually possible to live on without having to go foraging for food in bins by halfway through the month.

This, ladies and gents, is what freedom feels like. And it is good.