I have come to the conclusion (after getting ridiculously annoyed over the twat in the Zafira who cut in front of me at the lights without any form of indication) that I may perhaps have a couple of teeny weeny anger management issues. If I am going to reach spiritual harmony and avoid an ulcer/ murder charge I may have to let go of some of my currenty held angers. This will not only make me a sunnier, more even tempered person but will also free up some grouch-space that I can fill with brand new irritations. So, what can I let go of?
Fat Slapper
Perhaps it is unreasonable of me to be annoyed by the fact that some of my uni friends have added 'fat slapper' to their friends list on Facebook. I mean it looks like she asked them to be friends and they are very polite girls. Sure, they didn't like her at uni but hey, she never asked any of THEIR boyfriends to sleep with her while they were out at work trying to earn their tuition fees did she? No, it was just MY boyfriend who came in for that special honour. And not even because she really wanted him either, simply because the rabid whore wanted to prove to me that she could do it if she wanted to. But she failed and just managed to show herself up as the slag-tastic boot that she really is. And then she lied about it as well and seemed to think that I'd care when she suggested that we should just admit we weren't really friends. Really? Who'd have thought it, you sociopathic slut? Perhaps that particular annoyance is going to take a little more work than some of the others. Maybe I'll leave that one for another time.
The BMW driver
OK, so I had right of way and the blockage was on his side of the road yet he drove his sodding great BMW 4×4 through the gap I was already halfway through, forcing me onto the pavement and into an emergency stop to avoid embedding myself in the lamp post. Then he grinned smugly at me as he went past. This is indeed annoying but I should not dwell on it, I should be content in the knowledge that karma will follow him, he will probably pull that shit in Cheetham Hill or Salford and end up staring down the barrel of a sawn off shotgun. If I see him again I will be polite and stop. Preferably in the gap he's trying to get through so he gets stuck and is left with the options of a) driving into my car and forcing it backwards, b) reversing and taking a different route, c) assaulting me and moving my car. Options a and C will cost him money and option b will cost him humiliation. If he wants to play smug petty car driver then I assure him, I can be just as ridiculous. Right, so that's not so much anger 'dispensed with', more 'put on hold'. It's a start.
Work
So most of the time work sucks and I am paid less than a man who is not only completely incompetant but also about as much use to the company as a chocolate jockstrap. So I spend half my time doing stuff that he is meant to be doing but is too stupid, inept and lazy to deal with, well there's no point being angry about it because I'm fucking well stuck with it. I have to have a job and since the yoghurt-knitting, vegetarian, politically correct, diversity trolls made it illegal for companies to ask me if I am planning to go off and have babies they just assume that I am. This means I've got more chance of growing a pair of silver wings and circling the Statue of Liberty than I have of finding alternative employment so I might as well stop bloody whining and get on with it till the employment world deems me suitably withered and old. Result! Anger successfully converted to rather depressed resignation.
So, that's one anger put to the back of the pile for later consideration, one put on hold till I can successfully ruin BMW Bastard's afternoon and one converted into something else. I would say that's a successful result. How very therapeutic, perhaps I should start a new career as an anger management advisor!
Filed under: Uncategorized | 10 Comments »